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[Solved] Just got back from non-molestation hearing...

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Vik2001
(@Vik2001)
Estimable Member Registered

My section 7 report they said both parents need to do the separated parents course. I already done the course and supplied the certificate to cafcass. They just didn't even bother acknowledging I did it. Something I will bring up at final hearing. 

I want more days but in end judge can side with u and give a extra day here or there I'm hoping as there no concerns with me. I even moved nearer by, have a flexible working from home job and cafcass took none of this on board,  and just gave me default weekends. I was put through contact centres accused of alcohol abuse. My results came back fine, I had a fact finding and was cleared.  After this crap all I got was the default. 

I should have just walked with my trousers down and said do what u want with me from the start. I truly feel abused and shell shocked by the whole thing. While in mean time she's now taking me through court for a massive share in house.  May even end up homeless at some point.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 09/08/2021 9:49 pm
jabilm60
(@jabilm60)
Eminent Member Registered

@Vik2001 @Daddyup @everyone I had my CAFCAS section 7 interview. worrying thing is that they didn't ask me any questions about the children or our relationship. I tried to keep the answers children related and spoke about the children and what I did with them and positives my sons old school said about me etc. focused on all the comments about keeping it child focus..

On the fact finding my ex allegation were found to be lies and without credibility. however only one thing the judge said was she had a bruise on her arm could of been done by me. i know it happened when she fell over and not by me. The CAFCASS women wanted to speak to me about this and how my families relationship with my ex and children were. I pointed her towards the fact finding judgement as we covered everything and tried to keep it children focused.

They will interview my son (7 year old) this week, so I'm really worried about it as I haven't seen him for 15 months. She is definitely coaching him and I have mentioned that CAFCASS that i believe this too. really worried about what I'm reading about them been Biased and what my ex will get my son to say. 

The fact finding clearly shows how my ex has been changing her allegations and just trying to delay contact again. but I'm really not sure if they will consider anything. just hoping for the best.

 

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/08/2021 1:21 pm

Vik2001
(@Vik2001)
Estimable Member Registered

@jabilm60 Cafcass also interviewed my youngest.   she was coached to say stuff against me, and she did.  she said she dont want to live with me, im a bad mean person etc.  when cafcass asked how she knows this, she 'said mummy told her'.   regardless of this cafcass recommended i get only every other weekend 4 nights.   she said that when shes with me i say stuff against the mother, and tell her not to say anything to her mum.  she also said i pushed my other youngest kid to the floor in the garden because i was angry.   cafcass in general didnt know what to make if my youngest was being real or making it all up.   

i know she was told by the mother what to say to cafcass.

i got my final hearing in few weeks, will argue this to judge, it shows clear manipulation from mother, and is a form of alienation. 

cafcass are useless and still made the mother gets better access, we really as men have no chance.  after a fact finding and being cleared, moving closer to ex wife for the kids, and having a flexible working job, i get the bare minimum.  in the mean time ex is taking me to court over the house and she wants a bigger share.

good luck as you will need it even if your a angel.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26/08/2021 11:27 am
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi,

try not to worry. my kids were aged 5 and 2 when cafcass spoke to them. they wrote in s7 report that they asked them simple questions like are they happy to go to daddies house. made them do drawings to find out what their mood or frame of mind is like.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26/08/2021 2:50 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

Vik2001
(@Vik2001)
Estimable Member Registered

My kids were asked who they like to live with. Plus my ex coached the kids on what to say. However cafcass did pick up on this and mentioned it in the s7, still I got every other weekend. I'm going to contest this in court to try and get more access. My kids are clearly being told to go against me

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26/08/2021 8:57 pm
jabilm60
(@jabilm60)
Eminent Member Registered

@everyone @glad_dad @yoda @Vik2001 @Daddyup

Cafcass section 7 report was very bias and she completely missed many points mentioned by the judge and the fact shes been lying though out the 2 years. 2 years ago when my ex left with my kids she told the social services independently how I'm fine with the kids and how they've had a good upbringing etc. 

obviously now in the child case shes completely changed her tune and said I hit the kids and been hot tempered. completely untrue. the social services also interviewed the schools who said how i was a concerned very hands on father always kept up with parents evening. the last ring video of the night my ex took the kids it shows how my sons been looking for me , asking about me as well. in the Cafcass interview my son said he doesn't want to see me and rips up my cards i send via indirect contact. the cafcass women has completely ignored the social services report on me (school and even what my ex said then), the judge mentioning my ex lying but instead has favoured by ex and what she is saying now. 

she has mentioned that me and my ex need to do the SPIP course but believes i should have contact with the children as some point at a cafcass contact centre. even the judge after the 2 day fact finding mentioned that he doesn't see me as a risk to my children.

I have the children's hearing, and the cafcass s7 report will be read out next week. just wanted to know whats the best way to tackle this, its like everything thats happened in the draining 2 days fact finding has been ignored by her and cafcass has decided on everything in a 30min interview. 

 thanks

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/10/2021 11:34 am

how contact centres work

Vik2001
(@Vik2001)
Estimable Member Registered

all i can say in the final hearing stick to the kids.  the judges are clever, well if you have a district judge they are.  they will see through the BS, you dont want a magistrates judge.

things that can be challenged if they are really wrong is the cafcass report.  your outcome will depend on that they say, plus how close you live to the kids school and what your involvment will be, and the flexibility of yr job to be able to care for them when they are with you.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/10/2021 2:41 pm
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi,

if you don't agree with the S7 report, you have chance to challenge it. court may allow you to cross examine the cafcass officer. may be good idea to hire a lawyer for this. the SPIP course is recommended often. me and ex were made to do it. basic course, can be done in half a day or so. If Cafcass refer you to take SPIP, then it's free.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19/10/2021 11:11 am

jabilm60
(@jabilm60)
Eminent Member Registered

@Vik2001 @bill337 @everyone Just a update..

so we went with the S7 report in court which stated for me have video contact with my kids facilitated by the my ex and at a supervised cafcass icfa contact centre where they monitor our sessions and pass the information to court. our final hearing is next march .(if it doesnt get delayed again)..

So last wednesday was the first time i saw my son (7 years) and daughter (2 years) via video call after 18 months (due to endless accusations and court delays) wasn't sure what to accept from my son as i know my ex had been coaching him and telling him things. to my surprise he was still the same, first he was hiding his face behind the tablet but then started engaging and noddling, smilling, showing me his teeth thats fallen, running around to find his toys to show me etc. i could tell he was happy to see me. my ex kept of pausing the video and as u can he started talk she would pause then cutting the line. then calls back and now he doesnt talk. i was still pleased with the progress after 18months. 

Now to Saturdays Video call (3 days later) his completely changed and wont speak to me at all on the video. every time i ask a question he keeps looking my his mum and around the room. then i can hear my ex telling him, my sons a good boy, go on ask..but speak once only

and he says he needs to ask me something..i asked whats that son.. he asks me why did u hit my mum? i stayed calm and said that didn't happen son and i was sorry about argument we had etc. i could tell it was hard for him to ask he kept looking aroun. his body looked stiff, no smiles and as if his been put under pressure. Again my ex would keep cutting/ pausing the call 4 times in 30mins. he was completely different to 3 days ago. also realised on call she had her family around on the 2nd call, and i believe they were also involved in pressuring my son. 

My EX is definitely coaching my son and trying parental alienation. I have recorded the video calls as we agreed that on the court order, which clearly shows whats i described above. im thinking if i should raise this with the cafcass rep now, or what to do? 

the centre visits should start soon, but she already told the centre reps that my son is reluctant to see me. so worried about how the centre contacts will go. my 2 year old is too yough for coaching and i understand i will need to build a relationship with again. 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/11/2021 1:08 pm
Vik2001
(@Vik2001)
Estimable Member Registered

@jabilm60   the contact centre reports will help you, make sure they are recorded\logged and supervised.  it will cost you extra for the service.   But this will help immensley show the judge how you are with yr kids in your hearing.  the superviser will write it down and give you weekly reports, you can then submit this in evidence for the judge to see how you interact with kids.  They helped me for sure, and the judge said she had no concerns about my relationship with the kids.   

yr son maybe hesitant with you at first, but slowly he will engage with you.  use the time to be thoughtful, understanding and warm towards him.  they will make notes of all this and everything you all do, positive and negative.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/11/2021 1:30 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi,

I think if mother is coaching and putting words into childs mouth then thats disgraceful. I think you should report all of this to Cafcass and let them decide on next steps.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/11/2021 2:15 pm
jabilm60
(@jabilm60)
Eminent Member Registered

@bill337 @Vik2001 - thanks for your comments. the contact centre sessions will be supervised and as you say they will make note of how the sessions are going.

i think what I am most worried about is the fact she is clearly coaching my son on the 2 video calls I have had. she has already made him say things to cafcass which is untrue, so worried about how and what he will say when I have contact with him in the centre. the centre staff have already explained that if he refuses to talk or doesn't want to be there they cannot force him, but I'm worried that he will be made to say this by my ex, even though she wont be in the room when the contact is taking place. I'm thinking about sending the videos to cafcass to highlight what she has been doing as well. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26/11/2021 5:59 pm

how contact centres work

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