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[Solved] Just got back from non-molestation hearing...

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Yoda
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member

When is your next hearing and is it a final hearing? 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 01/07/2021 9:48 am
jabilm60
(@jabilm60)
Active Member Registered

@yoda My next hearing in a Month and that's the final hearing which was postponed due to the fact she was asked to get the evidence on my son having behavioural issues, as you read above more lies and exaggeration.

I'm also waiting for CAFCAS to do a section 7 report and then got another hearing in October for the finding on that. Very worried about CAFCAS as I always read horror bias stories on them online. Even for the next hearing i have pointed our tons of stuff she has lied about. However it just seems she's free to lie and delay me seeing my children.

Also worried about what she will get my 6 year old son to say to CAFCAS as she is very manipulative.  

Just hoping and praying for the best at the moment. 

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Posted : 05/07/2021 3:47 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

Djsmith
(@djsmith)
Trusted Member Registered

@jabilm60 Fingers crossed your right they will always take the other side with children involved.

Anything like my x they will say anything that your x has said to them mine were got to and I chose not to go through the fact finding would have cost me thousands as she was able to get legal Aid lied through out Judge did not even read c100 only interest what she had to say, etc

At the end it’s a waiting game for me but at present she has dug a hole that’s she is unable to get out unless she owns up hence the longer it goes on the worse it will get at the end it will end back in court then I will have my say!

stay positive 

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Posted : 05/07/2021 5:06 pm
jabilm60
(@jabilm60)
Active Member Registered

@bill337 @yoda @Daddyup @craigmcd @everyone just to add... I looked into CAFCASS parenting plan however it seems like its only based on things which both parents can agree on etc... where she is not willing to agree on anything and only thing she wants in indirect contact which I am on now. So not sure if I can still do as seems like most of its based on joint agreement.

Also been reading up that sometimes CAFCAS section 7 reports people to go on the DAPP (Domestic Abuse Perpetrator Programmes) programme. She was seen as lying to everything by the judge but the judge wrote on the report that a small bruise on the her hand could of been caused by me, although I know it wasn't. 

I'm worried because of that and her other lies CAFCAS might ask me to do the DAAP, which looks to have a 12 months wait to join due to covid and a further 12 months to do the course. Its been 14 months already I have no direct contact with my kids and not seen them. This could go into years if this continues and is exactly what she wants. Very stressed,

Sorry to everyone for writing these long messages, any comments welcomed.

 

 

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Posted : 06/07/2021 12:56 pm

how contact centres work

Daddyup
(@Daddyup)
Honorable Member Registered

Hi

The general advice is to prepare for the long process but hope that it's quicker. Unfortunately Covid has also added to the delays.

I wouldn't worry too much about a judge saying might, its not a finding of fact and CAFCASS should look at the situation as a whole.

Re the parenting plan, it is best to complete as much as possible from your point of view so that it shows you are child focused and gives CAFCASS something to start with eg they can then ask ex her views on the various aspect. So under education you could put in that the kids to remain in current school, that you will engage with the school separetly and ensure that there is consistency by doing what teachers ask you to when you have the child (mother should be doing the same)... This is just an example and it will be different depending on childs age etc but hopefully you can see what I mean.

 

Hope this helps.. 

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Posted : 06/07/2021 1:12 pm
jabilm60
(@jabilm60)
Active Member Registered

@Daddyup thanks for the help, really appreciate it. I've prepared myself for the long run, and have already waited for 1 year 3 months mate. The Judge did say that on the fact finding report. He mentioned that she believes she lied on all the other points but believes the mark / bruise on her hand might have been done by me. I suppose I'm worried, even though she lied about everything the fact that he thinks I might have done this one thing (and wrote this on fact find report), its going to make things even longer. Specially with the addition of delays and some of the negative stuff ive read on CAFCASS. 

I suppose I'm hoping for the best mate.. and missing the kids. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26/07/2021 4:45 pm

edpacket
(@edpacket)
Eminent Member Registered

@jabilm60 How old is your child now?

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Posted : 26/07/2021 8:32 pm
jabilm60
(@jabilm60)
Active Member Registered

@edpacket my son will be 7 years old in 2 weeks and my daughter  will be 2 years old in September. Looks like i will be missing my sons Birthday again. this will be 2nd one.

I was meant to have a adjourned court hearing (from the final hearing) today where by Ex has to show proof about her lies on my son having behavioural issues.. (as you can see above posts its been more lies).. but last Friday the court has changed the date to 1st Sept now, due the judge not been available. Completely last minute which means I cant ask the court to see my son on his birthday even if its supervised contact. 

@bill337 @yoda @Daddyup @craigmcd @everyone … I also have a Section 7 interview in 2 weeks now. Any help on what they will ask for would be really helpful.. I will try and prepare etc. I've been reading online too and most of the stuff seem to be negative comments about CAFCAS and how they are Bias. 

I really appreciate all your help and comments! 

 

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 02/08/2021 1:12 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

edpacket
(@edpacket)
Eminent Member Registered

@jabilm60 Thanks.  I haven't seen my son for 8 months now and his birthday is this Sunday. I cannot believe I won't see my son for 1+ year. It is unbelievable the power the mother has.  

ReplyQuote
Posted : 02/08/2021 3:22 pm
jabilm60
(@jabilm60)
Active Member Registered

@edpacket its heart breaking mate. My son will be 7 next week and my daughter will be 2 next month. i haven't seen then for 1 year 3 months such a important part in their life's.

@Daddyup @bill337 @yoda @criagmcd @everyone - Anyone have any ideas or comments on what sort of questions the CAFCAS person will ask in the section 7 interview. I have read my position statement and also she has a copy of the fact finding.  When i speak to her i know it should all about the kids and not to do mud slinging. but i also think she will state the lies which my ex has been going on about, even though most of them have been dismissed by the judge in the fact finding.

All I'm thinking about is the interview. just over a week away.  

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 09/08/2021 7:44 pm

how contact centres work

Vik2001
(@Vik2001)
Estimable Member Registered

Make sure u know about your kids schools etc. Cafcass tried to catch me out and see if I knew where they went school. Ex moved away and reschooled them without my knowledge and they wanted to see if I made a effort to find out.

Don't slag of Yr ex, just say I don't know why she does or said that about me. Don't go into it. If they sense hostility they will note it in report. I kept it child focused but ex slagged me off and cafcass said there is hostility between parents. I wasn't happy they said this as it does not come from me. It's all created by ex.

In their section 7 cafcass recommended I get the default weekends. I wanted more but they ignored all my parenting plans and efforts I put across to them. They are biased.

They also talked to my kid who's very young and the mother got her to say stuff about me and made the kid say I'm very mean to her also. They said I talk bad to the kid which is untrue. But cafcass hinted the kid could have been influenced which she clearly was. Gd luck mate, this system wasn't designed for us, and we will never be winners. Just something u have to come to terms with.

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 09/08/2021 9:14 pm
Djsmith
(@djsmith)
Trusted Member Registered

@Vik2001 Your so spot on us men will never be winners always losers, I went through all this with Cafcass they tried to catch me out slip hear slip there your right by saying do not say a bad word against or concerns because it will come over so negative and they have a nasty habit of turning what you say and re-write sections of the interview (interoperate differently) and yes they should be independent of the courts, social services, education, health authorities and all similar agencies but they are so one sided.  jabilm60 all that you have to do is as everyone will say keep your head stay calm  (will be difficult) but think before you answear best of luck.

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Posted : 09/08/2021 9:38 pm

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