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Hello,
Apologies if this a known subject (fisrt time posting). Ok so my wife and i are divorcing after 18years of marriage. Everything is amicable and we are about to go through mediation. I am not after winning anything or getting away with anything but want to ensure things are fair. We have 2 children aged 13 and 16, we have decided on joint parenting but we both know that the eldest child will most likely spend most time with me ( i suspect this for the youngest also ). Can i agree through mediation to pay her based upon a CSA calculation a daily rate in arrears i.e. i will pay for when they are with her only. In addition to this my wife through the 18years dealt with all finances where she would move excess monies from my wages into seperate acounts in her name only. We have split the savings already but this is based upon what she said was saved only. The split looks about right from what i know but is there anyway i can seek account information from the past. My wife does work but is paid substantially less than me, i am concerned that she might be using the split funds for a party lifestyle and basically dissipating them, currently we both still live in the same house and pay for everything including food etc and i look after the kids the most as she is generally out all weekends etc. Sorry for the multiple questions but any advice welcomed, as i say i dont beleive she is playing at anything but goodwill probably isnt enough for life changing situations.
Hi hamilton,
Hopefully we can give more information. Primarily this section deals with contact issues.
If things are amicable between yourselves one of the safest documents that you can get is a Clean Break agreement or Deed of Separation (DoS). This is a legal document that agrees by way of mutual consent on matrimonial finances.
The DoS has a requirement that all finances of each party be disclosed to the other eg Pensions/Life Insurance Policies and such like along with 12months of bank statements from all accounts.
With regards to the CSA front, if your children are looking to live with you and you think that they will primarily live with you, you will be deemed as the Resident Parent or "Parent with Care". You will have no obligations to pay any CSA to your ex wife because of this.
In an ideal world parenting should be split equally 50/50 down the middle and no cash should have to change hands and each parent is entitled to 50/50 of any child related entitlement.
Given you have said that your income is substantially more, it may be best if you raise the issue with your wife if things are still amicable to say that you think a Deed of Separation is the best route purely because it protects both parties in the future. The DoS can also cover where and with whom the Children will reside and what level of contact has been agreed and anything regarding maintenance to be paid by who and by when (eg Maintenance paid by X on behalf of Children between 1st-3rd of each month).
Hope this has given you an idea?
Thankyou Yogi,
My wife is training at present to upskill and her income will increase, in fact i have during the marriage paid her degree fees and also paid for her NVQ qualifications. Until she reaches full potential pay i am more than willing to help her when she has the kids and with other finances like maintaining her car etc voluntarily. We have had an initial mediation session where the lady said i should base things on the CSA figures but i dont want the agreement to be a component of a court order as i am sure its hard to undo. We both have a declaration booklet to fill out, this will be interesting to see what she declares i know roughly what she should have in savings i.e. more than me. i was a bit worried when we split the savings i.e. when she showed me the accounts i made it clear i knew there was more only at that point she said she had another account, at least she admitted it but since then i know many people will have been advising her on tactics. For the last year i have been the prime carer for both kids and the dog. Should i move any further postings on these subjects to a different section. Thanks for your help it makes a big difference.
Hi Hamilton
Can I just confirm what Yoji has said re a Clean Break Order. Even if my clients had no money, or property, savings, etc,I always advised them to enter a Clean Break Order. Basically if you do not, and should you win the lottery the ex can come back and make a claim on the money. It has happened in the past and became legal cases, and why all parties whether they have money or property or nothing, should enter a Clean Break Order.
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