Hi everyone just wondering what you might advise.
Have a court order in place which I did about 7 years ago, it’s not great but atleast allowed me some access to see my son. When it was doing situations were different back then and parts under the assumption I’d be able to have a conversation with the mother.
But as time goes on and communication is near non existent, I need to go about getting changes, I’ve tried speaking to the mother about this but if I’m lucky to be met with a response, is that she sees nothing wrong and no need to change.
there are a few issues I currently have
1. Swapping weekends when needed (by either of us ) - she has stated that our son has missed out on events/parties etc that have fallen on the weekends I have him, also been similar on my side. But when I ask about swapping weekends it is met with refusal and told she will lose her job if she swaps a weekend. This is even when asking 6+ months in advance
2. travel - there’s a little bit of a drive to collect and return my son, there have been times in the past where I’ve needed assistance more so in returning my son home, whilst I’ve asked the mother for help I am met with how I shouldn’t have picked him up if I can’t bring him home and just her refusal help. Luckily I do have supportive friends and family who do help out. These have been even more supportive as of recent after some health issues that have seen me not able to drive the distance to pickup/return my son.
3. Electronic contact - I know my son has got a mobile phone/tablet/Xbox etc at his moms and is something he’s expressed wanting to contact/play games with me when he’s at home but isn’t allowed. The mother did make me provide him with another phone + sim because she won’t allow any interaction outside of that, he’s not allowed both together and it’s rare if she will help put the phone on charge
I’m just wondering what people might suggest on how I could improve the situation? I did try mediation the other year but the mother mainly wasted everyone’s time. I’d like to try and work something but don’t know what to do!
Hi,
In my opinion I don't think those are big issues. How old is child and what arrangements do you currently have?
@bill337 he’s 9 currently. For the arrangements in order it’s alternate weekends, half the holidays with dates to be discussed and any extra time to be agreed on.
I think it’s a bit more fairness, I’m not asking all the time with the travel, with the phone I’d rather just give her the money than paying for stuff she won’t allow him to use anyway and with swapping weekends around, she’ll tell me about how he’s missing out on best friends birthdays etc but wont allow swapping