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Hi all,
My other half recently attended a MIAM to attempt to get mediation started after his ex stopped contact (he's not seen his kids for 7 weeks after usually seeing them twice every week for 8 years). The mediators have sent letters requesting her to attend.
He received a text from his ex yesterday saying:
"I have received the letter inviting me to mediation, however I am not willing to attend. After reading the leaflet it seems that the person there just sits there and listens to us talking. Any arrangement made is not legally binding and so I don't see the point. Quoting a previous text from you, you said you can do as you like and that you have a win win situation. If that is the case then why go to mediation when you will still think you can do what suits you and drop the kids whenever you feel like it. Again I offer you having the children Friday and/or Saturday night and also 1 or 2 weeks in the summer holidays."
We've no idea where the "win win situation" comment has come from (maybe she's twisted or mis-read something) or what the comment about "dropping the kids" is in reference to . As I've said in a previous thread the Fri/Sat offer isn't possible as other half works night shifts (9pm-7am) full time starting on a Fri night and he also attends college. From Sept he's starting a full time degree & will work 2 nights a week on the weekend. He's proposed that contact continues overnight Weds & Sun as it has for 8 years (I'm home Sunday night to care for the kids whilst he's at work & they're in bed whereas I also work Fri & Sat so that isn't an option on those days). She stopped contact over a CSA issue, it had nothing to do with days/nights of contact, this is something that she's come up with weeks after she'd already stopped contact. She's basically making an empty offer knowing full well he can't commit to it.
He's contacted the mediators who've said that they can't issue an FM1 unless she contacts them to say she's not willing to attend mediation or the deadline passes and they receive no response (they wouldn't divulge the deadline for some reason so we're not sure of the timeframe). They said the text she's sent him isn't enough as they can't be sure this is correct/her (which is fair enough).
Anyway does she have to now be sent a letter informing her that he plans on filing with the court or does he just do it?
Also NannyJane would you be able to give any info about which courts to use because I think your local to us (I've read a lot about Magistrates & County Courts). Thanks.
Thank you very much for any replies. Other half is pretty upset & stressed out about the whole thing. Whilst he can text the older child (15 year old) he is only being allowed to write to the youngest and isn't being allowed to speak to her. They've always been close and she's very much daddy's little girl so we can only imagine how she's feeling at the moment. I'm dreading Father's day next month!
Hi I recieved my FM1 after 14 days, mediation was offered on the 3rd May and I recieved my FM1 on the 14th May she was given notice and x2 telephone calls to which she didnt respond.
Hi JayneMax
As far a courts are concerned I think you are probably better choosing one that is closest to the mother...I would also say that a County Court is preferable for more complex cases...
I've PM'd you. 🙂
Can I just pipe up here...if you use a Court closer to the mother, you must check that it is a Family Court, not all the County Courts are family courts.
That's something I haven't heard mentioned before - thanks for highlighting this 🙂
Thanks for the replies everyone - NannyJane I've replied to your PM.
After a bit of research it appears it's the County Court that he applies to (it's only a few miles away from the Mother) and they do deal with family law.
I suppose we should start filling in the relevant forms ready to file once the FM1 comes through. It seems silly her refusing the mediation when there's a good chance the judge will order it anyway, we're taking this as she really doesn't understand how the process works.
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