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Looking for advice here on how to move forward after a joke of a mediation session regarding arrangements for my son.
I agreed to mediate, despite the advice of the DV agency I have been working with due to coercive control and emotional abuse, in order to get an agreement in place without spending huge money. I see my son currently on a wednesday afternoon and overnight, and saturday lunch to sunday lunch.
It was shuttle mediation and it started with my STBXW first - i was surprised when there was no mention of time he spends with his parents, nursery, etc. and a focus on the relationship between me and her. I said that this was not the purpose of mediation and that i was confused why she was more interested in things like which day i will attend the office we work at, etc.
I went back with the same thought out, laddered approach towards equal parenting that i outlined to her 2 months back now and have continuously sought her view on (but she never responded). It factored in the end of her mat leave, our son starting nursery (both in 2 weeks time) and holidays, birthdays, etc. But she made it clear that it was not the reason why she came to mediation...her reason why we couldn't be equal parents? He has spent more time with her to date. When we were together, we did as equal as possible around work - i did before and after work and we shared weekends.
I'm posting this here, as not due to speak to my solicitor till Monday but am feeling fraught and highly disappointed in the process. Is the only option now court? I have made it clear since we first broke up that I will be an equal parent to our son and that the only thing preventing that at the time we separated was her being on maternity leave.
hi,
did you make proposals for child arrangements, such as getting more time with him. generally if mediation has failed because you can not agree on arrangements, then there is option to apply to court. it can be done without solicitors and hefty legal costs. you can self represent with the right guidance. feel free to get in touch of you need advice.
@bill337 yeah I had drawn up a laddered approach re child arrangement and was firmly told no, not up for discussion. So court it is it seems...
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