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This is my first post here so I apologise if it's in the wring category. Basically my ex and I split up when my son was only 3 months old and after about a year of representing myself in court I managed to get overnight access to my son every Saturday night. This has been goin on for the last 9 months approximately without any issues. Several interim orders were made building up to this but on the last hearing, the usual 3 magistrates were not present and instead I had a judge who self confessed he was not a specialist in family matters but was 'filling in and helping out' this judge dealt me the worst hand ever as he said he was happy that there have been no conflicts in the last few months, and was satisfied we could make our own arrangements so therefore he 'orders that no order is made' ridiculous I know, completely getting rid of what I had built up. However my ex continued as normal giving me my son every Saturday night. Until that is I split from my most recent partner on Friday! She (out of bitter sweet revenge) contacted my child's mother via facebook and told her I was not looking after my son adequately. I don't know how somebody's could stoop so low, but from what I gather she has told her I over feed him and leave him up late. None of this is true, but the mother of my child has taken this to assume she can deny contact altogether. This happened Saturday and today being Monday have already completed and paid for another court application (£215).
Now what I want to know is a) is my ex going to be justified in anyway denying me access as 'no order was made' and b) will the courts take seriously any accusations my ex has made as she and my child's mother are now best buddies united by a common enemy.
Hi there,
I think the court will take into account that you have been to court before and that you have had regular contact since then. Because the judge made a no order then strictly speaking she isn't in breach and because certain allegations were made concerning your ability to care for your son, the court will not think it unreasonable of her to have suspended contact.
They might consider that you should have attempted mediation before applying again. and they could send you both away to give mediation a go.
I would assume that they will ask CAFCASS to compile a report. It would be very difficult for her to prove that you have been over feeding and keeping him up late....you have had regular contact for a good while and she has raised no concerns during this time. Your new ex is just getting her revenge and trying to cause you trouble, and that will be your argument.
Do you think they will take the allegations seriously? My most recent ex has now apologised to me, told my child's mother the truth and that she was saying it to hurt me. And has even offered to write a letter to the courts. However my child's mother still won't let me see my son, and won't even discuss anything with me. When I handed the court application in the woman said as the last case was less than 6 months ago CAFCASS would probably not need to be involved again. My worry is that they won't give me overnights again or for a while at least, based on what was said about me. I'm just scared this is goin to be a massive step backwards now.
...sorry I was under the impression that the order had been in place for more than six months as you mentioned contact had been going along fine for the last nine months.
I think the allegations are pretty weak to begin with, what was alleged can hardly be classed as abuse or even neglect in my opinion. With the letter from your recent ex admitting what she did I don't think you should worry too much.
Did you ask for interim contact on the C100? It's always best to do so, if you didn't request this then you might like to write a letter to the court requesting that the judge make time for this at the first hearing.
It might turn out to be a good thing as you might just get an actual contact order in place this time.
It might be helpful for you to,attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area. You will get legal advice and support and other members have found it helpful. Here's a link to their webpage where you will find details of meetings in your area
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings
The original case went on for over a year, and several interim orders were made. Building from supervised to non-supervised then overnight. I've had overnights since feb, but the last order in August was the 'no order' so I've had overnights for 9 months, but the case only finished 3 months ago. I'm hoping the letter from my ex coupled with the fact my child's mother has raised no concerns until now will play to my advantage.
Are they likely to change the days I have him do you think. I know my child's mother was unhappy with every weekend to start with, but as I said that's been his routine for several months now so it would be unfair to change it?
It's hard to say, they may listen to her but you can argue that this schedule of contact has been in place for 9 months and he is settled into this routine, any changes or reduction of contact would be detrimental and not in his best interests.
It's very difficult to second guess what decisions will be made.
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