Non mol - cant get my belongings
Wow I wish I had found this forum sooner! It honestly felt like it was just me but I feel supported just reading what you guys have gone through. I'm so sorry you are in the same boat as me. Chin up though, we will get through this, the truth will out!
So long story short my psycho ex went to the police station and produced a giant bruise, which she had obviously self inflicted, saying that I had done it and also told them a giant pack of lies about how I controlled her and abused her.
She had been planning it for some weeks and had made secret audio recordings of arguments to use as evidence. I cant believe I didn't see it, she was asking me weird leading questions about things that had happened in the past and trying pick fights all the time. If you suspect that she is recording you, she probably is. Be careful what you say as she will use it out of context to drop you in it.
So I was released without charge but she applied for ex-parte non molestation and occupation order. I didn't contest these in court as I wouldn't go near the demented leathery witch if you paid me so I really didn't give a shit. I just wanted to get onto the children act proceedings. I offered undertakings which she refused so I just accepted the orders with the important caveat that I didn't agree that any of the bullshit she used to get them was true.
At the minute I'm trying to get my possessions out of the house but she is refusing to let me. Shes just trying to be as difficult as possible but what else is new!
Does anyone know how i can get my things back? I've been told by solicitor/court/police that there's nothing I can do and I have to make a separate application to the court which will take forever. She is just being malicious and difficult, but hey what else is new!
I'll keep the forum posted as things move along, hopefully it will be useful to somebody sometime. If you think I can help you out with your situation in any way send me a pm (if you can do that on here, don't know!) Or ask in thread and I will be happy to help out with info of my experiences with the coppers and court.
It's unusual for the judge making an occupation order not to provide directions to arrange collection of personal possessions. You could try writing to the court or ultimately making an application.
Its actually common where the orders are not challenged for no directions re personal belongings to be made (even when challenged this is often overlooked!). Unfortunately you have to make an application to the court. If you were married then as part of divorce but more specifically financial proceedings you can raise the matter but otherwise there is no other way.
If you can in the interim move on without things then I would suggest to do that and focus on the child arrangements orders to avoid your belongings being used as leverage or a distraction.
Once you have the kids sorted and divorce/separation you can then look at belongings and either she returns or you could pursue at court for the value of them etc if she doesn't return.. However, I too was told the same as you that there is no obvious process and it can be timely and potentially costly.
All the best.
Could you ask the police to accompany you to the house so you can collect your possessions?
Thanks for all your replies, it seems like i am at her mercy then for the time being which I am sure she is enjoying.
I tried the police but they said they could not help me as it would breach the mon-mol if they went round with me.
I'm sure I will get there on the end.
I expect you've considered whether there is a friend or family member who could help?
I'd be careful asking a friend or family as it could breach the non mol if prevents direct or indirect (via 3rd party) contact with your ex except for the purposes of child contact. It's the reason why the police will not take you or come with you and they will treat it as a civil matter for you to deal with through the courts.
Unfortunately until things progress at court there is no other obvious mechanism to get your ex to engage and return or allow access to belongings.
As previously stated do not let the issue re belongings cause you to breach the non mol, trying to get your belongings will not be accepted as a valid reason.
I have been present in quite a lot of occupation order hearings and the court usually make provision for belongings to be collected from the home.
At this stage, you will either have to sit tight or contact the court. The court may consider making a direction or they may ask you to make a new application.