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Hello all, this is my first post here and im not sure i have selected the appropriate section :boohoo:
I am so confused and have no idea what to do or where to turn. My wife and I are under huge amounts of stress at the moment that sooner or later one of us is going to be ill so im after any help at all to push us in the right direction.
The background.
Ive been married to my wife for 3 years and been together for 9. She had a son from a previous relationship who is 15 now, we also have a 3 year old girl and a 4 month old boy together.
The problem we have is with the eldest. He has had trouble with his behaviour since a very early age and it has got progressively worse. He has been in schools for children with special needs and behavioural difficulties after being statemented with ADHD and Autism. At the moment they are trying to re-diagnose him as they believe he is showing triats of ODD aswell.
The Problem.
We have just received a bill for £477 for a new school computer! According to the school, He threw a chair at a computer during one of his outbursts and caused damage to the Harddrive. My wife and I need to know where we stand in challenging this as we have christmas just round the corner and financially its going to set us back a [censored] of a lot.
The school state they have it on cctv and that their computer technician has checked it. The bill is for a whole computer although a letter to us from the Head teacher states it was just a hard drive that is broken.
When you read this please understand that throwing a chair during an outburst is not normal for our boy, at home we understand his triggers and if an outburst occurs there is shouting but he will take himself off to his room and eventually calm down. This special needs school should be able to deal with these emotional triggers and get in there before an outburst starts, to try and diffuse the situation.
Secondly I would of thought a school of this type would have some sort of insurance to cover such events?
The letter from the head teacher states : Jake must realise that there are consequences if he is going to persist in a pattern of criminal damage.
Now i understand this fully... although when researching the different disorders and labels that have been given to him through his schooling years I also understand that these outbursts if not dealt with from the start are uncontrolable by him. Once the fuse is lit he has no idea of what he is doing, its almost like a reflex. How is billing us going to teach him a lesson? He is unable to pay out of his own pocket, so surely this just shows him that we will bail him out of every problem he gets into.
We offered the school £100 as a goodwill gesture which was turned down and the full amount requested.
The last sentence on the Head's letter really did it for me..
" I understand your worry about how much you will have to pay in the future but basically jake needs to learn to control his temper and then you will have no further bills to pay. "
I wil either be paying our for his uncontrollable behaviour till he leaves school?
Maybe he is in the wrong school as they cant treat his disorder appropriately leading to these outbursts?
Should I just pay up?
Im guessing they can either take me to court or get the police involved under a case of criminal damage.?
LOL I have no idea of what to do in this situation or where the school and I stand legally if I cant or will not pay.
I am fully appreciative of any help you can give me in anyway
Grant
Hi there,
I agree with you, special needs schools should be prepared for behavioural problems and have adequate insurance.
I think you have two options, you can write to the local education authority and ask them to step in, explaining the nature of your sons problems and the feeling that the school by its very nature should be prepared for this kind of incident, and in fact had they dealt with your son appropriately then they should have recognised the triggers and avoided such an putbust in the first place!
The second option is to contact your MP and ask him to intervene here, they are usually very sympathetic and will take up your fight if there is any justification in it, and I believe there is!
Good luck!
Hi NannyJane, thank you for your prompt reply, we are now looking into the contact points for the local education authority.
We have also just got parent partnership involved and called a emergency meeting with the school as after writing the post and discussing it more with my wife the school just doesnt seem to be able to handle our sons behaviour which makes me wonder if they are specially trained.
I think we are going to start looking at other schools which can help and support him as this school is giving us non stop trouble and this was just the icing on the cake.
thanks again
Insurance is a device for spreading risk and risks are classified in many ways. By law, schools must have certain types of insurance.
The risks that are likely to affect schools are
• property risks, for example loss or damage to buildings, contents or other school property
• financial risks, for example the extra cost of running a school following a fire or unexpected legal expenses
• liability risks, for example the legal obligation to compensate a pupil, teacher or member of the public who is injured as a result of negligence on the part of someone representing the school
• personal injury risks, for example accidental bodily injury to pupils or staff, or assault upon them
• miscellaneous risks, for example a variety of types of insurance, such as motor, school journey or travel insurance.
I would ask how come he was allowed to pick up a chair and throw it , where was the Teacher ?
Its nonesense and actually discrimination which you could raise as a serious concern to the school and their lack of support they are demonstrating.
If he did not have ADHD and tripped over and broke the computer the net result is the same but the school do not charge you. The letter was a little too strong. You could speak to the headteacher or raise this with the local authority.
It distrubs me schools show no support on this matter
Hmmm it doesn't sound like a very caring place...your son may well be better off elsewhere!
Have you checked the OFSTED reports for this school, it might shed some light on their poor performance.
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