[Solved] Parental rights

Hi there 🙂

You are not the first Dad to post about this on here and I doubt you will be last.... In a way I can understand how someone might feel so detached that this would seem the best way forward. I personally dont think its that simple, there are effects that will be long lasting and there could well be an issue in the future when the child is old enough to want to know why, and may turn up to ask you... When you listen to children that have grown up but are still affected by the loss of a parent from their lives.

Anyway heres the answers to your questions ~

As far as removal of a contact order, whether its indirect as in postal contact is concerned I dont think it can be revoked. If you had obtained Parental Responsibility at court then you could apply to be discharged from that.

You cant relinquish Parental Responsibility unless you were granted it by a court. If you have PR because you were married or your child was born after 01/12/2003 then its permanent I'm afraid.

Ensuring future contact is prevented is pretty impossible. You can move away and not let your ex know where you are etc. but as I said, if the child looks for you at some point in the futiure, theres no way of preventing that. In this age of technology its not that hard to find someone.

You wont find any reference to this on the C100 form as its not for what you want.

Regardless of whether you see your child or not you will still be liable to pay maintenance.

Hi,

Thanks for the response.

It would be nice if there was a search facility on these boards to look for relevant posts.

Unfortunately, parental responsibility is a result of the birth occurring after Dec 2003, therefore, as is the norm in law, I have no rights whatsoever.

Such a big thing is made of parental responsibility, when in reality, the rights are discretionary and can be overruled. Not really my idea of rights.

I assume the mother cannot adopt the child in her own name?

Right or wrong, I have decided that any attempt at contacting me will be declined in no uncertain terms and if more than one attempt is made I am happy to employ a walking book of legal facts to represent me and ensure no contact occurs.

As I said, it may sound callous, but I fail to see why I should be prevented any meaningful contact and then allow, what effectively will be someone else's child. to walk into my life. Not happening in my lifetime.

I appreciate the availability of online data and keep a very low online profile as data is my thing.

Thanks for you help. It is appreciated and probably saved me £200 and crossing swords with a condescending toff district judge.

As a father, you have certain rights to contact etc - those rights may form part of a contact order which means your ex has to comply. However, the contact order does not- and can not - compel you, as the non-resident parent, to comply with the contact. In that respect, you have more exercise of legal freedom than yor ex does. Removing PR or varying the contact order to reduce contact to zero would not give you any additional rights so there is little point in pursuing that course of action.

If your son came into your life later on as a friend - what would you do? Just a thought to ponder.

Hi, thank you for the advice.

As I said, I am just looking to draw a line under the whole thing.

If your son came into your life later on as a friend - what would you do? Just a thought to ponder.

Any attempt at contacting me will be denied and if repeated the legal system will be used to ensure I am not harassed by someone I do not know.

I did not prevent myself from even speaking to my child on the phone, but I will be the one who ensures that the decision is enforced permanently. I have already taken many steps to ensure this is the case, including a named exclusion from any inheritance, irrespective of financial value.

It may sound callous, but it really isn't. I have no intention of fathering any children from this point forward and certainly do not want someone else's child in my life, which to all intents and purposes, with the exception of biology and a few cells, is what the child will be in a decade or so.

I know it is an emotive subject, but the definition of a father based on the contribution of a few cells is somewhat ludicrous.

From my point of view, my son effectively died four years ago. I have no clue who the nine year old is. Mourning is over, now back to living life !

Ultimately that decision is yours alone to make.

Don't forget though, the lack of contact was never your son's choice.

Hi Fender Art, I read your posts and have enormous sympathy with your situation, but I thought I would share my experience with you.

I lost contact with my son when he was 7, despite trying to maintain contact for 4 years through the family courts. For 7 and a half years there was no contact (I was allowed by the court to send one card or letter per month but they were never answered).

At the end of that period my son contacted me out of the blue. He had been thrown out of the family home by his mother and step father and despite severe alienation had nowhere else to turn. He has now been living with me since October 2010.

It hasn't been easy; he is very damaged and self-harms and in November he took an overdose, but we keep buggering on.

My message is that never is a very long time; circumstances change and you never know what will be round the next corner. As Actd says, the loss of contact was not your son's choice. Whatever you may feel, you are the only dad he has and he needs you now and will need you in the future.

Hi Forseti - wow, that is a lot your son (and you) has been through, and is continuing to go through. What a lucky boy he is though to have found you again - if he hadn't the consequences would have been unthinkable.