Hi all, Just a quick one for now. I have an agreement in place with my ex for access to my son, no courts or anything involved.
I recently met a new partner and took my son to stay over. My ex wasn't happy about this and is demanding I provide the address of my new partner so "she knows where he is when he's with me"
Do I HAVE to give her this? Furthermore do I have to inform her of every location I take him when I have him, and if so, does she have to do the same for me if i demand it?
Nope , you aren’t under any obligation
Following on : if you don’t have a residence order or any child arrangement order that says you are permitted to leave the uk with your children then technically you need written permission from the ex or court approval if the ex denies it .
you dont have to give address. but might be better to keep the peace and stop her acting psycho.
Thanks all, very helpful.
She'snever normally got an issue about me taking him on holiday etc, but for some reason she's quite funny about things when I've met someone new. This one has lasted a lot longer and so I've introduced my son and now the ex has asked for her address.
Just seems like pettiness to me which is why I'd rather say no if I have no legal obligation to do so.
Thanks again all, appreciate the feedback.
Yeah I think a lot of people get funny when their exes meet someone else etc . There’s no harm in giving the address out unless she starts turning up at the house for no reason etc
I agree... If giving her the address is going to sort t out, I don’t see the harm in it... unless there are safeguarding issues with your ex, is she likely to turn up unannounced?
It might be helpful to introduce a parenting plan, that way you have discussed and agreed guidelines covering all aspects of co parenting. “Other partners” is a common stumbling block and if you can discuss it and agree a way forward, it will help.
CAFCASS do a good one, you’ll find a template and further info in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section.
I agree - no harm in providing an address if it keeps things calm. It's often small issues like this that can escalate easily.
For travel abroad, you would need her written permission with you unless you have a court order that states otherwise.
Overall, I would say pick your battles.
Does mum have a new partner?
I agree with comments others have made here, but there should be clarity that this is reciprocal (you would expect exactly the same from her in similar circumstances) and that 'demanding' this kind of information (which you aren't obligated to provide so long as your son remains within the country) will do nothing for promoting harmony.
My son's mother used to operate on the premise that it was important that she knew everything relating to our son, while it was only necessary for her share whatever she considered relevant. All this did was feed her inflated ideas of the authority she reckoned went with the title of 'resident' parent. It's taken years of subtly and directly (depending on the importance) challenging this to get it even generally close to being a reciprocal arrangement.
Hopefully your ex will be open to 'rules' applying to both of you.
Reciprocal only works when everyone involved is reasonable ..
Give her the address there’s no harm . If she turns up at the house unannounced and causes bother just call the police and they’ll tell her to stop harassing you .. if she carries on it will
Work against her and that will make her think about her actions .. then again it might just be a small power struggle and she has no intention of ever turning up anyway
let the baby have her bottle lol. its her tiny control mechanism. let her have it. who cares. in these cases, they cling on to whatever little control they have left, be it passports or deciding what kids do on a mid week contact. lets just look at the bigger picture and focus on enjoying time with our kids.