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Sons mother has die...
 
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[Solved] Sons mother has died


Posts: 9
 Paul
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Topic starter
(@Paul)
Active Member
Joined: 13 years ago

Hello,
My sons mother has died and I thought that as the father he would be my responsibility,He had been staying with my sister who was a friend of the family since the death of his mum.This was so he could be with his sister who has another father until all the familys could reach an agreement.
I decided that in his best interests my son should be with me...but the day before he was to move in with me the maternal grandmother took him to macdonalds and never returned him.
She has now got a court order of resedency with cause for concern issues of (now this is unbelievable) abduction.

Surely this is what she has just done.

My sister and I feel we have just been used,if the grandparent would have been honest with her intentions in the first place then we could have all spoke about it.Now there just seems annomosity around an already tense situation.

The order has lots of untruths and exaggerations stating that I hardly know my 7 year old son.When in fact I have lots of contact with him and him with me and my current family...Let alone the constant contact THEY had with my sister,mum etc over the last 7 years.

The grannys argument is to keep both children together,one is 15 the other 7.

I have told her I will give them time to greave but the truth of the matter is,"how long is a piece of string". (status quo and all that)

Please advise as I have 14 days to reply or something. :dry:

12 Replies
12 Replies
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(@springchicken)
Joined: 14 years ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 152

Hi,

Have you or are you in the process of applying for residency of your son yourself?

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 actd
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(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

Hi Paul and welcome

Can you clarify if you have parental responsibility, and also, further to springchicken's question, if so, do you currently have a solicitor?

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 Paul
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(@Paul)
Joined: 13 years ago

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Posts: 9

Did not realise I had to,as I have parental responsibility because I am on the birth cert.

I was planning to rep myself due to working and claiming tax credits with wife,but have discussed with wife who feels that I should move out to get funding as I am only on a low wage and her child tax credits would affect my application for legal aid.

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 actd
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(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

Moving out seems a bit extreme - your wife's tax credits may still be taken into account unless divorce proceedings are underway, wheich is even more extreme. I'd check very carefully about this. Otherwise, you can continue along the road of representing yourself as you planned in the first instance. As you don't have a solicitor, we can call on the services of the Children's Legal Centre for free legal advice - I'll ask them to pop on and give advice on the residence question.

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 Paul
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(@Paul)
Joined: 13 years ago

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Posts: 9

ok, thanks actd.

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 Paul
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(@Paul)
Joined: 13 years ago

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Posts: 9

She put an urgency order fearing abduction(cheek) and also got to Judge to accept that I wasn't considering his welfare in moving his scool/home/immediate family needs with the inaccurate info on my contact and living arrangements TIC.

All this in mind(including being lied to) I want whats best 4 child/children, I was thinking of shared responsability with a slow progression from one family into the other....Lets say 4 days to 3 days shared care,with 1 day every 6 months going onto the 3 until all 7 and full responsibility lies with Me.

OH If it was that easy. :whistle:

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(@childrenslegalcentre)
Joined: 16 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 447

Dear Paul.

Thank you for your post. In order to advise we would need to go through the contents of the Order with you and find out whether there is a further hearing date listed.

We would be therefore be grateful if you would contact us to discuss your matter in more detail.

You can contact us via our webchat facility which can be found at www.childrenslegalcentre.com and is available Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm.

Alternatively you can contact our freephone advice line on 0808 8020 008 which is available Monday to Friday 8am-8pm.
We look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely

CORAM CHILDREN’S LEGAL CENTRE

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 Paul
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(@Paul)
Joined: 13 years ago

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Posts: 9

Had to go to court to get advise on what I need to return...The clerk gave Me some paperwork that was missing.

There is also 2 pages missing on the urgency order application which I was told to reply to(how can I when I cannot see the info)!!!!

This could be a genuine copying mistake or something more alteria :dry:

Anyway, will contact corram tommorow as long as they aren't a fishing 4 clients payed law firm.

Got my boy this weekend so We will see how this first week without our family circle has gone :unsure:

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 actd
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(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

Anyway, will contact corram tommorow as long as they aren't a fishing 4 clients payed law firm.

Nope, they give funded free advice - take a look at their website if you want confirmation. 🙂

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 Paul
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(@Paul)
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Posts: 9

Spoke to corram 🙂 very approachable and friendly,they gave some good advice as to how to reply to court order.

I will be enclosing a cover letter with my court acknowledgement papers,which I will also take to the court and read out when asked by the judge if I have anything to say :unsure:

My son was supposed to spend time with us over the weekend but decided on 1 night rather than 3(his choice).Poor lad must be so confused.

For 3 weeks he thinks he is living with his Aunty While being told he is moving into Dads...then Grandma comes back on the scene and tries to steady the ship by moving him in and sending him to Dads for weekends.

spoke to schools to encourage parent/teacher relations and kind of dropped a hint to Grandma about a two year plan.....but only time will tell!!!!

My Son has spoke to his siblings at my house regarding living/sleeping arrangements etc and My Wife has been very supportive to his needs during this time.I think he loves her more than he loves me( :whistle: who can blame him..bless)!

He does express a strong desire to be with his sister at Grandma's,So what kind of parents would we be to stand in his way?

All this in mind,and I know its early days but what do I do?

What do I apply for? Do I need to? :huh: so confused but at least I have the support of a strong/loving Family. 🙂

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 actd
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(@dadmod4)
Joined: 15 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11892

Without knowing what CCLC have told you, but with you attitude to possibly allowing them to stay, have you considered mediation to see if you can come to an amicable arrangement with the grandmother?

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 Paul
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(@Paul)
Joined: 13 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 9

Handed court papers of acknowledgement in today(14 day deadline) wrote an accompanied letter to allegations/concerns c1a, to state that I had no intentions of abduction and in fact would encourage contact between grandma and grandson.

Mediation could be possible,to sweep all feelings under the carpet for the sake of children is priority.The conclusion and aderment to the conclusion is my concern...I feel I am giving my son up....I just hope he can look back and see this was all done for the right reasons(love :boohoo: ).

The court process on tues 2nd but lets see what judge says before any mediation talks. :unsure:

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