Essexdaddy has had quite a journey, but he’s reached an arrangement that he’s happy with! You can read his story here...
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/51031-section-37-help-alienation
Hi all
Well after 3 days trial
I manage with the last grind of my teeth and some amazing people that pull in their pocket at the last moment to have a barrister for 2 days
He save the day I would say
Cafcass and social service completely against me
My ex completely against any contact unless supervised
We did make point that no finding was ever made the nmo was on consent and once again on another hearing no finding made but was treated as perpetrators
In the but shell after so much pain and debate
Just leave the children with the mother
To me it’s not fair given she hasn’t got home, must have 2 support worker to support her, she has still cbt anxiety treatment ongoing (3 years now) and has be showed that she deliberately stop contacts regardless the children misses their father
But like she said
I was advise to do so!
Anyhow
Judge aware me unsupported contact with the children every two weeks and in less than a month I will have them home for the week end Friday to Sunday every fortnight
System suck but this is how it is and given the fact that she got all the social service and people in her pocket believe her lies well I’m happy with that.
My eldest son(previous relationship) live with me full time and I will have the 2 little munchkins week end and Holliday
Soon , soon she will drew herself up and she surround herself with some feminazi and her father that his such a control [censored] I wonder how she will ever cope but I don’t care
Soon the kids will return home and I believe it’s only a matter of time for the children to ask to live with me like my eldest has done
Now I need to heal, pay my debt and prepare for my divorce as I couldnt Afford yet
She can’t take this from me and she will have to live her life on her own good luck I’m happy 😉
Anther well fought result for thelongroad... well done!
Quick update..i had my final hearing outcome after 2 and a half days, split between the week before last and this week.
Application CAO made in July last year
Ex parte NMO given against me in July/August
contact stopped with son for 7 months due to NMO
NMO discharged after 7 months
Cafcass recommend alternate weekends for me, despite evidence of contact every weekend and one day a week for last 8 years
Child taken on as child in need after Cafcass report
Hair strand tests found to be positive for 2 class A-mother after cafcass report
Anyway to cut a long story, Cafcass recommended a further day on top of alternate weekends, despite positive drug tests, child in need being freshold being met and school reports supporting father. Truly awful
Judge went in my favour awarding live with father and mother reverts to alternate weekends, half holidays shared. Amazing result after so long and battles with everyone especially cafcass and SS..
I will say more further on but keep hope everyone. managed to get a positive outcome despite NMO and negative cafcass reports. You can do it too.
Lots of people on here who supported me so thank you so much, especially Mojo who was always so kind, thoughtful and knowledgeable-thank you.
Holidays
I now have a court order that states for summer holidays they should be shared with mother the first week, and then alternated with me having 6th and final week of summer. However, mother was also granted an exception as she had already booked dates of 15th August until 23rd August. My concern is the 15th is on a Thursday of my 4th week. I am not overly worried but interested what others would do in this situation? Would you take back the days owed as such later in holiday so it remains fair and equal. Also my son breaks up on Tuesday 23rd July which means Mum misses one day. Is that just the way it goes or does this need to be addressed? Any experience of this would be much appreciated.
Thank you
To be honest, this is a oneoff exception - I wouldn't argue the point, it's not worth the hassle in my view for a couple of days when you've got everything you could wish for.
Hi
my son has had 2 years of it
ex had affairs then left
put non molestation on him that cost us £'s to get sorted
everything ok every other weekend then found army man . moved 150 miles away and then cafcass involved , they lied and now no unsupervised contact
costs us £200 a month for a 2 hr contact room [ travel fare inc]
now final hearing and Cafcass having meetings with mum , not us
want to see grand child and dad but messing around with dates
had final hearing but Cafcass now want to question psychologist/ report [ she is number 4 in country in her field
appears cafcass and mum are delaying everything so my son does not see his child
now final hearing next month
cant afford barrister as spent £25,000 already
appears no end to Cafcass and mum stopping my son seeing his child other than a phone skype and video skype once a week [ lasting from 2 mins - 15 minutes on a good day
judge has been good , same one last year but does not appear to over rule Caffcase , seems frightened to do so !!
Congrats... Its a hard road, I also have a cheating ex and loads of false allegations fired at my via my ex, but as admitted where i was wrong and stuck to the truth it shined through in court. Ok the passion I had when telling them about the kids and also 100% knowing in my heart they were better off with me than her.
I know im one of the very lucky ones, I have my kids amazing kids living with me in the week and they see the ex 5 out of 8 weekends.
Went MIA from this group for 3 years but now stronger and what to get more involved and see if any of what picked up along the way maybe helpful.
My babble on here is https://www.dad.info/forum/relationships/45004-struggling-single-dad-after-parnter-cheated-on-me?limitstart=0
Thanks for all the help and information from others posts.
This week I finally got a Child Arrangements Order.
Ex was playing games and even though she had told the Court in November she agreed with the contact schedule I drew up, she failed to state this to me or my solicitor.
Due to her behaviour where she abused, harassed and lied to my solicitor and her own lawyers - notice the plural - my solicitor did a lot of work for me pro-bono. So while I still have a legal bill it's about half of what it should be.
A member of my family came forward at the last moment to pay for a direct access barrister.Again because ex had abused them. (A friend also offered to pay a few minutes afterwards. ) As a result around 11pm the night before the hearing she found I was to be represented. She self represented but had a lawyer on the phone.
Ex complained in Court the measures she had put in place to control me had made child arrangements more difficult. I had been warned by the police, more than once, and multiple lawyers not to have any direct contact or direct communication with her. This came up in Court and ex tried to play the victim but the judge wasn't interested. As a result while I can have contact with her if there are witnesses and email communication, I can carry on ignoring her. She knows she isn't allow to visit or contact my partner, relatives or friends who I stay over with. While this is mutual, due to her behaviour in the last 5 years she has ended losing lots of friends and she is still single.
I now have my boys for Christmas for the first time in 6 years!
Hi all
Just drafting my 10 page statement for final hearing and I’m going to make a case for equal shared care. From a work perspective I can do it and at the moment I have 3/7 but ex has tried to control/limit school holidays to less than this for maintenance purposes hence my application for cap.
Any tips on what arguments to put forward for equal shared care. It’s hard to write it when effectively I’m doing it anyway. Not much my ex does other I don’t than school pick ups.
Thanks all !
hi Harry,
did you mean to write that you don't do school picks up and drops? if not then thats something the other side will make a big deal out of it, and would expect you to do.
what arrangements, and days do you have in mind for the kids?
Your entitled to half of all school holidays. To be wanting shared care you will certainly be needing to do school drop offs and pick ups for sure.
Do you get 12 nights a month at moment..is it every other weekend and 2 days during week or something at moment
Hi bill
At the moment I have 6 nights in 14
Mon, fri, sat, sun
Weds, thurs
I take the children to school 4 mornings in 10 and pick up from after school club 1 night in 10. Ex always wanted to do pick ups to make sure she had daily contact with them
I can change my working hours to do half of the drop offs and pick ups.
This one from Devo
Hi everyone.. So today was the final day of my fact finding hearing. 44 aleggations against me. The judge went through all of them. I thought I had no chance.. UNTIL, the judge asked my ex to stand. She did, the judge told her shes an unreasonable and unreliable witness and a liar in her court. Every single one of the allegations were struck off. The non molestation order against me, removed immediately, then the judge said to me, I've read your statement of application for a prohibited steps order. In one second she granted it and added a penal notice attached.. She told her if she even attempted to take the children out of the UK, without telling me And applying to court she will be arrested. I have been given immediate access to my children.. I haven't seen my children in 7 months. I was given free unsupervised access. My wonderful Barrister, spoke with me and said do it in a contact centre, to establish the relationship again. The judge said a great idea, and thanked me for being child focused.. The judge even said she wants it on the order that all the allegations are dismissed and that a contact centre to see my children, in no way means I'm a risk. My ex was completely, completely shot down by rhe judge. All her lies and witnesses lies against me, were in the judges words "you Mrs Devo are an unreliable witness and a liar in my court. If you attempt to disrupt Mr Devo contact with the children, you will be arrested for contempt of my court!!! Wow, I actually won the case. Thanks guys, and all those still struggling, keep it going, DON'T GIVE UP..
Good to hear your success story , can you guide me plz how to write reply of allegations made by ex ? As I am representing myself in court
Cheers