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urgent help - unfit...
 
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[Solved] urgent help - unfit mother


Posts: 10
Registered
Topic starter
(@montanna)
Active Member
Joined: 13 years ago

husband 2 children and 7teen step child.
wife has a history of mental health.
teen step child has been playing the situation between us for a while because i don't always believe her lies.
wife insists she is well/better
spoke to adult services and there are elements of neglect by her. and bullying from her and her step daughter towards me (i know for example - going out and not letting me know when she is coming back. when i got tired of asking she then booked a holiday weekend break for one. allowing her daughter to have her laptop and send naked pictures to her older boyfriend.) adult services do not suggest getting social workers involved. but i am running out of options to remain in the home, mentally and legally.

their are no recorded pieces of abuse by the police or anyone but im told this can soon materialise in these cases.
My wife needs regular prompting to do basic things. the other day she left the hob on, when the step daughter was not home.

I wanted to leave and so started residence order so that i could continue looking after the kids. I always have.
I was accommodated by a solicitor.
on further understanding, this could mean that my wife would have have children taken away and kicked out onto the street.
no court we could approve this without her being screaming insane.
I explained this to the solicitor. they agreed and stopped the order.
order had been through court and needed to be cancelled. a letter was written to all.

now i am waiting for my wife to keep making up charges against me with her step daughter.
its actually an unbearable situation. i am tip toeing around the house and sleeping on the sofa.
making recording whenever the step daughter and mother are around and documenting the coming an goings.

1.What can i proactively do next not to get sha$£ed by wifes solicitors, come the cut off date for legal aid?
i don't want to represent myself in court and do not have any money.

my suggestions:
no molestation order - to remain inside the home and take care of the children.

further questions

What is in store for me?
What can i do to counter it?
Will I be out of luck for legal aid as i applied, was awarded then cancelled it?
Does the mediation i applied for earlier count towards my legal aid pool. e.g. do i already have legal aid still?
my solicitors are not advising me, they are just following instructions.


5 Replies
5 Replies
 actd
Registered
(@dadmod4)
Joined: 16 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11897

I would ask whether your legal aid can be reinstated before the end of March. Other than that, it depends on what you are prepared to do as you don't seem to want to go for residence, and aren't prepared to take any action against your wife, you are really leaving yourself with nowhere to go.


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(@montanna)
Joined: 13 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 10

it is pretty rubbish for a dad that just has concerns.

i know things can get ugly. i just don't want to appear like i am the one trying to get out the door with the kids.

i am prepared to take action, not just at the expense of my children.

generally i only get one shot at this. if i mess it up i could not see them at all.


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 actd
Registered
(@dadmod4)
Joined: 16 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11897

Unfortunately, with the situation you are in, your children will be affected whatever you do, so it's a matter of the best of a bad deal, and what may seem like a crappy situation in the short term may be the best solution for the long term, but you are the best placed person to decide that, though you are more than welcome to bounce ideas around on here.


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Registered
(@montanna)
Joined: 13 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 10

I was thinking of a:
no molestation order - to remain inside the home and take care of the children.


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 actd
Registered
(@dadmod4)
Joined: 16 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11897

Is that with the intention of both of you remaining in the house? Is so, I can't see that such an order would be granted (I'm no expert on this at all, so could be wrong) simply because it would be unworkable and unenforceable.


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