Hello,
I'm a family member of the husband, he's far too emotional for this so I'm trying to help.
He's been married 12 years, has one child with her, 10yo boy, he separated with her 7 years ago due to her not looking after herself and being lazy but still all living in the same house, its been manageable since late with 3 bedrooms.
The Dad started to offer her half by selling house and started mediation proceedings, she did not respond and we know why now.
She served him this week with a non-molestation order and occupation order and the court hearing is early next week, so we had to rally round to find a solicitor for him, will cost a grand just for one showing.
She has literally twisted, exaggerated and made up over 40 allegations, physical abuse to her and the boy, mental abuse la la la... it reads like a crime report, all of it complete tosh, one complaint was that he once pushed her away as she swung for him, before they where even together.. 18 years ago, then why in all these years then has she never called the cops or made any accusations before.. she's a big girl with big attitude and could easily look after herself.
She mentions in the statement that she is requesting that the respondent must leave his house with immediate effect
His best friend in the whole world is his 10yo Son who has his own separate issues due to lockdown and school and she is using this against the dad, making it out its all the dads fault when the sons issues a far deeper than this and it is unfair to over shadow the lads important issues with her emotional issue that the dad wants to sell the house.
I feel she is using the NMO as a tool, to blacken the father's name, force him out and get to have full custody or the boy and house knowing an order will help the seperation that is still yet to start. Its a win win in her eyes. Only a few months ago the household was almost normal, happy, cooking, eating and going for bike rides together. As soon ask the dad makes mediation arrangements she forces this NMO on him, its all rubbish.
Who's been through this?
Can anyone please advise in anyway?
Top tips?
Things to do and not to do?
Expectations??
Thanks and big blessings
S
This what they do I’m going through this at present straight away legal advise is required, you cannot afford to sit on this depending on the allegations and sounds to me a lot and would have acted on the advice from her solicitor and if she was able to get legal Aid like my x your back is against the wall from first point.
They the Solicitors will see her as a cash making machine
I have found that life is unfair and the courts will always 99.9 of the time take mother and child’s side.
NMO Oder if served all ready you can fight against but you can rake up thousands of pounds in debt
I did not fight it did not have the money either way did not effect my work but mental well-being was shot for 8 months
The occupation order they will always look at house location etc and they will not care if your living on a park bench or in a tent in a field
Start paying Child support but if she goes to CMS they will calculate for you but word of advise only pay what CMS states hit the dates and pay no more because last thing is that you yourself want to run up alot of debit.
Always keep records of everything and Don't make contact as she will twist things around to suit herself
They will use the child and hid behind until they get what they want and see it’s a blood sport.
Believe me you need good friends to keep you sane.
Best thing to do first is for him not to contact his ex in anyway. Just to be safe. When at the non-mol hearing you have three options, fight it, accept it or just offer an undertaking. An undertaking is like a "legal promise" as they call it. Simply means there is no non mol placed on him, but he will still have to stay away from her and not contact her in any way for 6 months.
Do you know if the police have ever been involved, called out for domestics or has she ever reported him? If you fight it, it can be lengthy process and also quite expensive. His ex's solicitor may well be planting seeds and helping them make it sound all dramatic.
When it comes to child access, she is going to use this against him and no doubt cafcass will get involved and he will be asked about this and questioned about it i'm sure. They will also carry out police back ground checks and may even speak to his child.
Unfortunately, once a non-mol is in process, it may be a long drawn out process for him from now on. This site is really useful for help and advice so do come back for anything you need
@fer17 Agree 100% with me chose not to fight I completed the c100 and they didn't even entertain it, they had nothing on me but NMO was served for a year came and gone and it's a waiting game she has tried every trick in the book and yes 1/8 months later have not heard had a phone call or a word about the children she is on legal aid with a woman solicitor using her as a cash cow as they do I went up against two men solicitors and they passed to a woman it's going to be tuff so it's going to get tricky.
Two words (True friends) will always stay with you!
Do not spend any money on a solicitor. They will be of very little help. There is no justice in family law here, it's broken, it's a joke, a tool to be abused by women like the one you described here.
To a degree l have to agree the only time really is at first gives you that better chance of cementing a better result.
Other if your trying to cement a Trust Declaration that will secure the house state x who is responsible etc for your well being it’s worth it keeps the stress at bay but anything else yes.
@steve541754 X may have been building up to it Steve541754 will not find out until C100 comes like a steam train then he will have to reply to it. You cannot secound guess it will send you Mad.
@djsmith C100, interesting.. I think before she can go that route she needs to agree to MIAM unless she comes up with more severe accusations, I truly believe a decent court would see right through the current accusations, she is really scraping the barrel here with not much to go on, I think she will get the nmo temporarily granted with conditions whilst we wait for the hearing.
But my question is what other tools does she have to her disposal, what other dirty tricks should I consider her do next?
It would be great if she joined the MIAM table to discuss but she's far too emotional and being a stubborn [censored].
C100 ok, what else can I research please 👍
Cos she’s filed it ex parte she’s have said if you knew you’d have tried to manipulate the situation to prevent her going to court or she’s too scared of you finding out etc . That’s what happened to me . Most solicitors offer a free 30/ 60 minute basic advise session. I’d strongly suggest you utilise one and it won’t cost you .
As with all non mol apps you have to disprove each and every allegation one by one . The courts are used to seeing and hearing all this rubbish being made up . Whatever you have to disprove her like emails , texts etc use . If you have been having regular contact alone with your kids include all thst , being on holiday etc with them and so on . A lot of it depends on the judge on the day . Also do not contact your ex at all . She’ll just use it to draw you into An argument and get you arrested . If you’ve been severed an order ex parte they have to have a return hearing so you can argue against it .
City Dad is So So on the money I’ve also been there going through x can be demanding etc
They will use everything at against you and more.
so be watchful think twice
Just don’t contact her at all . They try all sorts to rile you . Keep your reply factual use everything you have to proove she’s not telling the court the truth. You show her to be a liar on one accusation the rest follows . If you have kids that are old enough and they’ll give a positive account of you you can always ask them to be party to the proceedings too