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I have been separated for nearly 3 years after 4 years of marriage. We had 1 child together and she already had a child when we got together. We agreed that I would have parental responsibility for her child and she took on my surname. At the weekend I discovered that she has now reverted back to her old surname at her new school without any consultation with me. I am at a loss as to what I can do. Do I have to continue to pay maintenance for both children even though one of them has made the choice (apparently) that she doe not want to have my surname.
I have started divorce proceedings offering to let my ex keep the house which is currenlty empty as she has moved in with her boyfriend and taken the cchildren with her despite not discussion it with me. I pay maintenance every month and see the children overnight every weekend.
When you say you agreed that you would have PR, is there a court order to this effect, or was it just an verbal agreement between the tow of you? Is the biological father involved in any way as he will also possibly have PR, depending on age of your stepdaughter, whether he was on the birth certificate, and whether your ex and the father were married.
I would question why you are letting your ex have the house if she is living elsewhere - if there is equity in the property, then you should consider taking your share - if nothing else, you can put it into savings for your child(ren) when older. I'd see the Citizens Advice Bureau about this before just handing it over.
If you can answer the questions in my first paragraph, we can ask the CCLC to comment further on the question of maintenance.
Thanks for your reply. The pr was not done by a court order it was a verbal agreement. Her biological father sees her from time to time but does not contribute to her welfare he was named on the birth certificate but him and my ex were never married.
My feeling is that you would not be liable for maintenance for the non biological child as you dont have PR and are not on the childs birth certificate. I'll be interested to hear what the CCLC have to say about this though.
I also agree with actd about the property and being entitled to some of the equity.
If you cease to pay maintenance the consequences may well affect contact, and is something to think about if you are close to the child and have a parental bond. It probably wont be the childs decision to stop using your surname.
Hi Ccross
Thank you for your post. I am William the Child Maintenance Options consultant.
If you currently pay child maintenance through a family-based arrangement, this is when you and your ex-wife decide between yourselves who will provide what for your children. There are no strict rules or formulas that you have to stick to when calculating your payments. Family-based arrangements are not legally binding, however, they can be quick, easy and flexible to change if your circumstances do. You may wish to negotiate if you would still need to pay child maintenance for your ex-wife's daughter.
In the event you currently pay child maintenance through the services of the Child Support Agency (CSA), they usually seek child maintenance from the biological or adoptive parent. If you have not legally adopted your ex-wife's daughter then you would not be liable to pay child maintenance under the CSA guidelines. You will need to contact them directly to discuss your concerns. Their contact details can be found on any letter they have sent you, or this website https://www2.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/setup/apply-by-telephone.asp provides their contact details.
If you have a Consent Order/Minute of Agreement in place for child maintenance, you may wish to seek legal advice to see where you stand on this or consult with the solicitor who started the original proceedings.
For more information about all the options for child maintenance and useful tools and guides you can use. Please visit https://www.cmoptions.org or call us free on 0800 988 0988 between 8am and 8pm Monday to Friday or 9am and 4pm on Saturday.
I hope this helps.
William
I dont think this addresses you questions so if I were you I would contact the Coram Childrens Legal Centre, theres a link to their website at the bottom of the page....I'd ask you to wait for them to comment here but you have done quite a bit of waiting for answers already!
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