Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
So, what makes things a bit more complicated is that I pay child support independent of the CSA/whatever it's now called. My daughter is 19, and was/is supposedly doing a course full-time (NVQ). However, my daughter the other day let slip that she was working six-days-a-week as a cleaner, full-time hours. I responded by stopping the child support, only to have her mother (a compulsive liar) give me the third degree about it. I pointed out that she clearly couldn't be working six-days-a-week and doing a college course full-time, and she then claimed that she never had started doing six days a week, but that her boss had wanted her to, and she had decided to do only three times a week, and was still doing her course after all. My daughter has corroborated this over Facebook Messenger, but is likely just saying what her mother tells her to.
Is there any way that, as someone with P.R., I can request proof that she is still in education? I obviously can't file it as a change with the CSA, and, as I'm not on the college she supposedly attends' records, I probably can't be given that information if I contact them.
hi,
I think only way you will know is if your ex opens a CMS claim, and they inform you of situation. If she does not do this, then it's likely she knows that child is not eligible for maintenance. legally, age 20 is final cut off period for child maintenance.
Unfortunately you can't find out from the college. But two things have to happen. First your ex has to claim child benefit, the CMS will check this is being claimed and if so then the second part is they can open a case.
As DadMod2 said the chances are slim as your ex will know it's a lie.
@rich1 hi we sourced proof from the college my husbands daughter left and the college her mother lied about attending after. They were very accommodating and said they come across this a lot. We took this to court and won. Her mother made her lie too to everyone claiming that she was in FTE! The truth always wins but it’s a struggle to be heard. Good luck
@standupfordads really? They are very accommodating in that case. Unfortunately the college my child attends stated they wouldn't release any information unless I was on their records. It made matters worse as at 16 she changed her surname (for whatever reason I don't know but I'm sure we can all guess). Not just that but the CMS have a different name too and they also refuse to tell me what it is.
The CMS are nothing more than a vicious circle. They want proof but won't supply anyone (or maybe just me) with name change. They won't take into consideration any overtime and this your payments each year go up as they will only recalculate if a 25% decrease has taken place (not sure if it's the same for increase).
Anyway I'm glad you got yours sorted, sorry I went on a tangent just irritated that for almost 20 years I've had to jump through hoops etc whereas my ex just has to sit back and watch the circus. I've only got (what I hope) a few months left when my child will be 20 so hopefully I won't have to deal with these clowns for much longer.
@rich1 we feel you’re painful hun. It broke us both. We won the court case in August 2024 and still have received no money back!! They’ve effectively overruled a court decision which is legally binding therefore an illegal process but we have escalated this and still fighting . Stay strong
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.