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[Solved] Abuse

New Member Registered


I had a recent experience with my wife, who I have been married to for over 20 years. I’m over 50 and have suffered from erectile dysfunction for around 5 years. It hasn’t been easy and has damaged our relationship due to my inability to talk, when we have it’s my fault, when we are intimate it can be frustrating and disappointing. On one  occasion my wife got physical and punched me. It didn’t physically hurt but had a really negative impact. When I asked her about why she punched it was my fault. I know this is wrong as if roles were reversed I’d be arrested / divorced etc. Just need some advice

Topic starter Posted : 25/10/2022 8:24 am
Honorable Member

I would suggest you make an appointment to see your GP.  There may be underlying problems that need sorting.  If not, then medication may be an option.

Posted : 25/10/2022 4:49 pm
Estimable Member Registered

Hello jonnec,

Thank you for sharing what can be a difficult and personal topic, and for being so open here on the forum. 

There is never an excuse for any kind of abuse. I would strongly advise that you contact the charity Mankind on 01823 334244 and there you will be able to speak confidentially to someone who is qualified to listen and then advise you on what you may wish to do next. They have a web page with information on too which you may find helpful.( )

I would also seek the counsel of your GP, as the previous post has identified, and see if there is a medical reason as to why you currently suffer with ED, and if there is any medication available which could help you. BUT, I really would advise that as well as dealing with the physical side of your situation, the reasons why this is happening mentally, also need to be addressed. Five years is quite a long time for you and your wife to have to go through something like ED, so for your mental health well being, I would suggest that you perhaps seek counselling either separately or together to discuss the root causes and also the impact of how this makes you both feel. (Relate - a couples counselling charity could be a starting point)

Primarily though, you must not in anyway blame yourself for your wife's actions - seek help and advice first, and then take things from there.

Remember you are not alone, there are people who can help you and who will guide you to the right people to speak with and move forward.


I wish you all the very best,

Kind regards,

Fegans Parent Support  

Posted : 31/10/2022 12:11 pm

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