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[Solved] Getting into a new relationship

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IntrovertedDad
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

In short my ex-wife had falsely accused me of the ‘R’ word and mental abuse a few of years back to gain a DV concession. Ultimately I successfully fought to get shared 50/50 parenting for my 2 year old son last year. This was also when my ex withdrew her allegations in the court as she had no leg to stand on (the Police had previously closed the investigation due to lack if evidence). This took a toll on my mental health and I was the one who felt mentally abused. I’m weary of trusting people, especially if I were to ever get into a relationship. In the back of my mind I would like to get back into a relationship, but how do I do this especially with my issues with trust? How do you ‘get over it’?

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Topic starter Posted : 04/01/2020 12:16 am
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi,

i also have trust issues after marriage ended. i think bigger problem will be, is how will your ex react if she hears you getting into a new relationship. she could start acting up and cause issues with seeing kids. but that should not stop you from finding a new partner. depends if you are mentally ready for a new relationship.

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Posted : 04/01/2020 1:13 am
IntrovertedDad
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

Thanks Bill. She recently got married herself, but hasn’t told me about her new husband. I heard about it from somebody else. I wouldn’t trust her at all. She’ll probably do the same with him. I suppose I’m trying to fill an emotional hole that is widening over time.

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Topic starter Posted : 04/01/2020 1:38 am
actd
 actd
(@actd)
Illustrious Member

What's your social life like in general? If that's pretty quiet, then I would find some way of getting out and mixing with people so that you get the confidence back that there are a lot of good people out there, and then you will be in a much better place to start dating.

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Posted : 05/01/2020 10:37 pm
IntrovertedDad
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

Thanks.

As you can probably tell from my forum name my social life is almost non-existant. It will be difficult.

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Topic starter Posted : 06/01/2020 12:43 am
needhelp83
(@needhelp83)
Trusted Member Registered

Hi

Have you ever thought about internet dating?

Not all us women are the same some us are kind caring with good intentions, what you need to do it’s educate yourself what to look out for red flags etc and take things slow at your own pace don’t let anyone pressure you to do anything before your ready you need to slowly build trust with that person.

Internet dating helps in the sense you can get to know the person before you meet so it’s not so daunting when you finally do meet up.

Good luck to you

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Posted : 06/01/2020 2:00 am
IntrovertedDad
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

Thanks needhelp.
Of course it would be silly to not a trust all women. I probably have to see the warning signs as you say and maybe try online dating again.

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Topic starter Posted : 06/01/2020 1:39 pm
SadDad2019
(@SadDad2019)
Active Member Registered

The problem I find with online dating sites women hardly ever reply

I'm not rude i'm always polite I find getting no replies a put off

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Posted : 06/01/2020 2:34 pm
IntrovertedDad
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

It’s difficult I can understand.

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Topic starter Posted : 06/01/2020 7:33 pm
needhelp83
(@needhelp83)
Trusted Member Registered

Its not the easiest way but it does work for some people it’s a lot to do with what you put in your profile and the photos you put up and how you answer people on the dating site

Another idea is you could find a new hobby or do a evening course to meet new people you might meet someone that way

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Posted : 06/01/2020 11:17 pm
IntrovertedDad
(@introverteddad)
Trusted Member Registered

I’ll definitely need to do something to move on with my life whilst looking after my son.

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Topic starter Posted : 07/01/2020 12:56 am
Ferfer
(@Ferfer)
Reputable Member Registered

I am exactly the same. I would like to look at a relationship, but I do not think i have the heart or strength to do it all over again. I think I will be happy single for the rest of my life. My wife moved on really quickly, didnt bother me at all, it is just the fact how she cried to cafcass and courts that she couldnt trust another man because of what "i have done"
It is hard, I hope one day i just bump in to someone who I fall for, but I dont think I will be out actively looking for it.

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Posted : 07/01/2020 7:21 pm
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