Hello,
I have never used a forum and never thought I would need to. I have two beautiful daughters (5 and 2). Me and their mum have been in a happy wonderful relationship for 8 years but one week ago she told me she didn’t love me and doesn’t want to be with me.
She has been feeling this way for five years. In this time we have had a baby, bought a house, got engaged and planned the whole wedding.
It appears that her decision is final. It doesn’t matter what I say, her family say... she is determined it’s over. She has already applied for single parent benefits and expects me to move out after Xmas.
The hardest part of this for me is that for 5 years she hasn’t said a word. She has not shown one single sign of unhappiness to me and we have, so I thought, been in love. We created the perfect life and now she has decided to give up on all of it. It has come as a shock to me and her own family.
I have surrounded myself with support. Even after 5 days I have already had to look for future homes as she is so determined. She isn’t being vindictive or cruel to me, just determined. Friends and family have suggested there must be someone else but I don’t believe this to be the case at all. She wouldn’t lie to her mum and sister (they are her best friends) and she has told them the same thing. She just doesn’t love me.
My reason for this post... I’m slowly learning to accept her decision. I have always respected her and loved her unconditionally. How do I move forward? Deal with the loss, the children being told, building a new future. I’m dealing with the grief. I am allowing myself to feel and cry and get angry, but the right way. Not at her. Why won’t she allow us to try together. I can’t believe there was no love and she can simply turn it off.
I’m so scared.
Hi theguy85. I'm so sorry for you and the situation. It's horrible, I know I'm going through the same. My wife did almost the same thing to me in June, but on a larger scale. She made horrendous allegations against me, which were dropped by the police only 4 days ago. At least you haven't got that to go through. I've got 4 children and haven't seen them in nearly 7 months. I'm going through the Courts and have been since July. My wifes actions said the same to me as far back as May this year, became distant, and unloving to me. I don't know why our wives change?? We had it all, nice home, money, children etc. Then just one day she just..... Snapped. Then came the tidal wave of allegations and injunction. I was made homeless, after she emptied our account. I'm still grieving for it all. My fight now is to get access to my children, not easy in any way, but I will do it. I will say this to you mate.. Be strong, keep going and allow her what she wants... Maybe if you back away, she will get a sense of realization and change her mind? I don't know. What I do know for certain tho is in my case the woman who I loved and was married to for 14 years, has become someone I no longer know.. Keep it going and be there for your children... Take care mate...
hi theguy,
sounds like a rough situation. my marriage ended suddenly after nearly 8 years. whats your living situation with her like, do you pay mortgage? all i can suggest is do not be a push over and do everything she wants. don't just leave the house if you worked so hard to keep the roof over both of you. depending on how she behaves going forward with regards to your kids, you have have to look at some legal options.