My wife has decided that our marriage is over. She cites various reasons - basically a list of things she doesn’t like about me. She’s decided enough is enough and that we’ve been going round in circles for far too long and she just wants to call it a day and move on.
We have a son and a house. Her parents paid the deposit on the house for us and whilst I pay half of everything, she’s the main earner. We’ve recently separated our finances and both pay into the bill account each month to cover everything.
She wants me to move out. I’m refusing. I just want to sell up. She’s said she will buy me out but I’ve refused. I’d rather sell completely.
Where do I stand reference the house, my son, custody etc. Do I have to even move out? I just don’t know what to do. In all honesty I couldn’t even afford to rent anywhere if I did move out and I have no family nearby.
hi,
i think you should not move out. but problem is she may find a way to get you out, like change the locks or make false allegations to police. if you both disagree on what is to be done with the house, then i think you should seek some legal advice.
I don’t think she’ll do that. We still sleep in the same bed. We just don’t talk.
She says she wants to make this as easy as possible on our son.
I absolutely hate her for doing this. I don’t really have family here but I do have family abroad. Part of me wants to take our son and just go abroad to live with my family.
I just don’t know what to do. This situation is awful but I don’t want to give her what she wants.
have you considered couples counselling?
It is a tough situation, is she open to counseling at all? You don't have to go in to details about what it is you have supposedly done, but can you discuss improving they way you are and try and work things out?
How old is your son? It will be tough on him regardless, but for his sake, if she is still allowing you to stay there, it seems she will be quite amicable when it comes to child arrangements, allowing 50/50 care. Break ups are so much more difficult when kids are involved, if she is allowing you plenty of time, I wouldn't suggest taking it to court, running away with him would be a very bad idea and could work out badly for you.
Son is 10.
I suggested counselling and she’s agreed however she’s made it clear she has no intention of trying to fix this and we should be working towards an amicable split rather than flogging a dead horse.
She says she’s never been happy. We stayed together because she got pregnant. We never had time as a proper couple. Says she’s been trying to make everyone happy but she’s just reached her breaking point and can’t do this anymore. We’ve spent most of the last 5 years or so in a constant cycle of arguing about the same things. Making up. Then repeating it all over again.
What would happen if I took him and ran? It’s the only thing I can think of right now. I can’t lose him and I want to hurt her for giving up on us.
She says I should move into the spare room while we figure out what to do moving forward.
She’s not being unreasonable at all. I just don’t get why she won’t try to fix things. I know this entire relationship hasn’t been ideal but I don’t want to just let it end.
I think the best thing to do is not pressure her in to anything right now. Maybe it is best you sleep in the other room, or is there a friend you or she could stay with for a little while, but still maintaining contact with your kid? Maybe if she had some time alone she may relax a bit. I think going to a councilor could help patch things up, that is if you are both up to it.
Sadly I don’t think she has any intention of wanting to patch things up. I think she’s done.
pinkman don't run away with your son. no good will come of it & it will go against you. if it was other way round and your wife did runner with son, then courts will likely let your son stay with his mum.
What would happen if I did though. If we just left the country?
that would be classed as child abduction:
You must get the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child or from a court before taking the child abroad.
Taking a child abroad without permission is child abduction.
You automatically have parental responsibility if you’re the child’s mother, but you still need the permission of anyone else with parental responsibility before you take the child abroad.