[Solved] Advice for new step father
Hi I need some advice.
I have been with my partner for a year and she has a lovely 3.5 year old daughter who I now love and think of as my own as well as loving her mum. Her biological father isn’t involved so this makes it easier.
However we are having some problems. Mum and daughter are so close that when mum is around daughter won’t let me do anything for her. This puts strain on my partner physically but also on my emotionally as I can’t help. Also we are struggling to keep time for us because our daughter doesn’t sleep and it’s all got a bit much recently and our communication took a dip.
It’s been hard getting a relationship going and a family at the same time but I’m so glad we have however we need to learn to communicate better.
Has anyone else has a similar experience who can give me some advice on how to manage these pressures?
I’m pretty sure the little girls clinginess is due to her age and there could be an element of possessiveness due to your arrival in her life.
Pretty soon the little one will be starting school and hopefully she will begin to be more independent.
Tiredness can be the cause of much upset in relationships, if you’re both having sleepless nights you’re bound to be feeling the strain.
It’s always a good idea to talk to each other about how you’re feeling, she may be having the same doubts and worries. Could you organise a babysitter one night, so that you can go out for a meal or just a drink, use the time to talk and just be together. Because of the child, you may have to plan ahead... if you can’t arrange a babysitter, think about taking time off work when the child is at nursery, so that you can surprise her and snatch a few precious hours. Be spontaneous, bring her some flowers home, or a fav movie and bottle of wine... you know what she likes so don’t forget to make an effort. It’s the little spontaneous gestures that mean the most and she will appreciate it.
If you’re not making headway, don’t leave it too long hoping it will sort itself out, you could try counselling, here’s. Link to Relate check out their website.
All the best
Thanks for that advise.