How do you deal with the stress
Dads have it hard, for sure. What are your coping mechanisms while going through the Court process?
yes it is very stressful and draining. Probably the most difficult experience you will face in your life. Work helps take your mind off it. Would also suggest exercise, meditation. Lot of useful resources on youtube. What I did was take breaks in between hearings. lot easier before covid, would take weekend trips/getaways somewhere. lean on friends and family for support. treat yourself.
Looking after physical and mental health whilst going through the court process is very important.
Anything that can help to keep emotions out when dealing with things, helping to stay calm and focused and consider things rationally and logically.
Too often the other side is counting on you to trip up and doing something that ruins your case, eg not remaining calm and then breach a non mol order.
There is nothing wrong with recognising/admitting that we cannot always deal with things on our own and leaning on our support network.
Too often we can feel embarrassed, ashamed even that we find ourselves in a situation and it's easy to bury our heads and then struggle to cope with the court process. Reach out and ask for help!
@bill337 whats really bothering me is the wear and tear that may affect my daughter. Child services is saying I can have some kind of contact. Im pushing for video over letters and whatnot. I know the more contact i get, the more my daughter may be pulled in the other direction. Thats the part that bothers me.
@Daddyup I have too much self control to do anything that would make me look bad in the eyes of the court. And Im not an angry person. Theres no chance of the ex provoking me. I just wish there could be peace. im not a bloke who has ever been ashamed to say things are too much. I saw my dad cry a few times. I have no mental block when it comes to opening up.
I was wondering how other dads may deal.
What i found most helpful during my divorce and court procese was to work, stay busy, do exercise, take time to do something you actually enjoy and concentrate on yourself. Reading on here and learning of others experiences was immense as you get a perspective of what others go through and as bad as it may sound in some cases its makes you realise that perhaps your situation is not as bad as what others have or are going through. Or in other cases learning that you are not alone and also the success stories.
I always believed there will be light under the tunnel and there will be a resolve by staying positive no matter how many times i felt down or had a bad experience. Mindset is very important and stay determined. Last but not least its character building.
When you cant control whats happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to whats happening. Thats where power is
I suffer terribly with stress, I think it comes from my mums side.
I have had three different court cases (one ongoing) and my stress levels go through the roof. I’m not sure how everyone else feels, but talking about it and medication help me through it all.
realise this process is temporary, and at some point things will get resolved and get better. Thats how you cope and thats how u move forward. It wont last forever so dont stress forever. just realise you have to go through the motions, so sit back, relax but push forward for what you want. DOnt let the process weaken you.
Have you seen your GP about any therapy or counselling? It might be worth asking.
Friends are really important. I am lucky that I have a lot of who look after me and drop round often and take me out and invite me to do things with them. I also joined a really friendly and sociable slow/middle aged blokes running club and found many people there who had been through similar things as me and showed me there is light at the other side. Take care of yourself and keeping busy is the key. Best of luck.