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Initial Separation/Splitting Finance/Moving Out

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Hi All,

Newbie on here....just looking for some initial advice and will try to give some background info (with out trying to waffle to much) to help set the scene on our situation.  Both late thirties and married 14 years.  I am main earner ( Higher earner now) having met at uni and on relatively low salary's.  Currently I work away from home on a rotation basis 3/3 and she works part time.  Being the higher earner I pay the joint mortgage and other bills while she just about covers the utility bill side of things.  We have 2 children 16 and 11.  We probably have approx 30k of manageable debt (just about), made up of loans, credit cards and her addiction to store cards.  Like a lot of people despite the decent income there is not much left in the pot each month.

Suppose my questions and advice seeking would be around.

1.  As we have 2 children how do I stand with living arrangements as she cant afford the mortgage alone yet as mentioned about due to current finances I cant afford a place elsewhere under the current circumstances if financial commitments stayed the same (not even taken child maintenance into consideration yet). 

2.  My salary is paid into my joint account, am I within my rights to move this as long as I ensure the committed bills are still paid, this is something I have been threatening prior to this point but not had the [censored] to do it as not wanted to upset the apple cart so to speak?

3.  Currently I don't see how we can make a clean break as my finance currently out weigh her income?

4.  This may sound like a sob story but I have given every penny I have to the relationship from earning min wage to now when earning a decent wage were as she has just blown the lot on a month by month basis, would this give me any stance if it went to court or go against me?

5. Due to my salary the maintenance payments would be pretty high (using the online calculator), taking this into consideration and say I continued to pay the mortgage on the family home for the sake of the kids were does that leave me in terms of other financial commitments that i would be expected to pay as child maintenance and mortgage alone would take almost half of my monthly income?

6.  Expecting to loose at least 50% of my current pension pot but how does it work for future contributions as probably have at least another 20 years before i retire?

Apologies for the waffle which I intended not to do, but so many questions and don't have a lot of answers at the moment.



Topic starter Posted : 07/06/2022 3:14 pm
Illustrious Member


I do not have experience of this situation, but there is some useful info here:

Posted : 08/06/2022 3:18 pm
Honorable Member

I'm sorry you find yourself in this position.  It might be an idea to have a chat with a solicitor to see how things might pan out.  There are various guides on the website which might give you a steer.  They cover breaking up, sorting out finances and divorce.

Posted : 09/06/2022 4:07 pm

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