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Hi everyone thank you for letting me register as I feel like I'm going round in circles.

I am divorced and for the past 3 year my new partner and myself have had continuous access to my 3 boys on May 23 my new partner and myself split up. Thats when it all started my ex wife refused to let me see my children even had me arrested for rape which after police investigation I was cleared of all charges she then applied fir a non molestation order. I have a solicitor but don't feel I'm getting anywhere  paid her £800 so far and still got to pay more if it goes to court I will pay anything to see my boys but feel solicitors are dragging it out only sent 2 letter so far. As cannot contact my ex she as blocked my children's phones so cannot even message them.

I know mediation is out of the question. My solicitor as just sent her a letter asking if she would do supervised visits with a member of mine or one of her family. If she refused where do I go from there ?

As  the longer it goes on the more she is turning my boys against me. She has had a new baby with her new partner and been told she wants me to sign the boys over to her but I will die before I ever give up on my boys. It's seems that dads do not get same rights as mothers.

Does anyone else feel this way ?

Topic starter Posted : 13/07/2021 7:03 pm
Famed Member


sorry to hear what your going through. I would suggest you think about applying for a childs arrangements order. normally you would be expected to try mediation before applying to court, but as there's a non-molestation order against you, you would be exempt from mediation, and can apply to court with a c100 form for child arrangements order. that costs £215. many people self-represent if they can not afford a lawyer. that's something you could look at doing. your legal fees are going rack up very fast, as they keep on sending out letters to your ex, which may get ignored.

Posted : 13/07/2021 8:01 pm
Honorable Member Registered


Its got to be a tough situation. Has the non mol been granted or has she just applied for it?

As Bill says, you can self represent as a litigant in person.

There's lots of info online about how to do this inc the advice now website etc..

You can't sign the boys over to your ex, the process is for you to terminate your PR via a court order but no reason for you to do this and unlikely and rare that your ex will even get an order removing your PR.

In relation to solicitors it is worthwhile researching the process yourself so that you can provide clear guidance and also understand how solicitors charge aswell.. A lot of your costs will be the solicitor talking you through things and explaining etc, which if you already know about you can get straight to the point. Request that letters are kept short to reduce solicitors time spent.. If your solicitor has quoted a fixed fee then fine, if not then remember that they charge in 6 minute intervals and therefore end your session or time accordingly. Do not sit there in person or on the phone telling your solicitor how much everything is impacting you and discussing the same things in every call, they will keep you talking as you are on their clock which will be billed.


All the best. 

Posted : 13/07/2021 10:02 pm
New Member Registered
  1. @Daddyup thanks for the reply  I've paid the solicitor £600 for the non m.order to do a thing called an undertaking which means a promise to the court to stay away from my ex which is back in court tomorrow. The £800 covers all solicitor fees besides going to court which is extra so will looking into doing that myself so be stating up on Google but would like to thank you for the advise 
Topic starter Posted : 14/07/2021 1:57 pm
Estimable Member

I'm sorry to hear about this - it must be very distressing. If you are going to represent yourself in court, whch is fine and many people do it, there is some advice on the AdvieNow website.  Good luck

Posted : 03/08/2021 7:30 pm

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