@bill337 Hi Bill, initially it was once a week but I managed to get a weekday evening and an evening over the weekend, but all this can change depending what mood she is in, with threats of moving away etc...
I just find it difficult when the child's best interests should be the most important and I honestly feel both parents are equally important.
As soon as I was told to leave the house, she bought our daughter a puppy which meant it was harder to see her because she missed the puppy....
I don't like the fact my ex partner controls everything after we both spent the first 3 years both bringing up our child.
@headspace Hi!
Thank you for your reply.
I have tried to contact citizens advice etc but they all point to mediation which is a no go from her.
I guess I wanted to get a solicitor involved if only to know where I stand, but I'm not sure about the financial costs.
I find it really difficult to keep lines of communication open when the ball is totally in her court and things can change depending what mood she is in.
As soon as I left she bought our daughter a puppy which made it harder for her to spend time with me because she was missing the puppy.
I feel both parents are equally important to a child.
Hi Marek
How old is your daughter? When do you get to see her?
It’s tricky and as a father we know that the ex generally calls the shots because they on most occasions automatically have the children and thus they know how to hurt us. Maybe she got the puppy as a way for your daughter to be distracted from the separation, her way of helping your daughter to cope with it -I’m sure it’s not a personal thing, but I can understand how you feel because in my own break up I took everything personally.
What helped me was having the mindset of knowing that my own child was safe and happy when I wasn’t there and although I found it hard, I drew satisfaction from it.
Give it time; it’s all up in the air and emotions are high but it will get better. I remember being told the same thing when I was posting daily and it was good and true advice. You’re not alone and remember we’ve all gone through this and we’ve got your back. Take care of you first so you’re able to take care if your daughter.
Headspace
@marek ok that is very limited time to be spending with your child and seems unreasonable and unfair. From legal point you would have to attend mediation. Even if she is refusing now, you can still book an appointment with mediator. It's called a MIAM. They can decide if they want to invite your ex to mediation. If she refuses, then they can give you permission to apply to court. Have a look at family mediation council site https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/
It would be better to try to establish a regular routine for seeing your daughter and avoid court if at all possible. Can you propose a reasonable arrangement and explain that if it fails you will have no alternative but to go through the courts. There are some helpful guides on the advicenow.org.uk website on child arrangements and going the the court process without a lawyer.