I did not know where to write this on the forum but I hope someone reads this and it helps. I will tell you in my opinion why Dads matter.
I last logged onto this site in June of last in desperation once again my ex had taken it upon herself to make a pack of lies and stop me seeing my children, I had battled every step of the way for almost 6 years, spent over £15000 in legal fees been arrested due to her lies had my car vandalised you name it I had had it done to me. Several times I felt like giving up, I could no longer afford a solicitor and ended up representing myself , I dragged my ex back to court every time she broke a court order and the most important thing I did WAS KEEP A DIARY of every little thing that happened. Even though I was stopped by lies time and time again from seeing the kids I kept in touch with the schools and their child care arrangements. I was assessed by Cafcas three times and three times I was described as an impeccable child focused parent and she was described as adequate, but still the kids stayed with her and I was punished yet again by lies and no contact. I am going on a bit now but the outcome of this story is, I was granted one last hearing for the kids I scrapped together £2000 from family and friends for one last role of the dice, got a barrister took my diary the reports from school about lack of attendance lateness no homework, child care how she worked all the time and the kids were passed from pillar to post (up to three different address in a week) anyone but me, proof of how she had continually lied to the courts for 6 years, AND I WON the kids now reside with me my son refuses to see her after everything she did to him, turns out she was not feeding him properly and locking him in a cupboard if he asked to see me, and my daughter sees her every other weekend. All I want to say guys is don't give up I know how hard it is believe me but stick with it your kids do love you and they need you, both of mine are so happy now and everyone comments on how different they are now they live with me. Please don't give in this forum helped me when I needed it it made me realise I was not alone, I know it seems the courts Cafcas judges and everyone else does not listen but as it proves in my case, give someone a big enough spade and they will dig a hole they can't get out of. Keep the faith I hope this helps Matt
Matt thats an inspiring story with a happy ending 🙂
I'm sure that it will give the guys on here that are going through it right now the hope and the courage to carry on.
I wish you and your children all the very best for the future....keep in touch!
Thank you for letting me know I hope what I wrote helps someone, the system is so unfair but with perseverance and the support of family and friends the impossible can in some cases become possible.
I hope you are enjoying more time with your grandchildren I know my parents are, I still pinch myself in the mornings to make sure I am not dreaming when I see them.
Thanks Matt
Awesome Matt, and I know exactly how you feel. The thing is, if my ex had been a model mother, my kids would have stayed with her and been quite happy, and I've have missed out on them growing up with me - so although it was a lot of pain at the time, the reward is just indescribable 🙂
Well done for holding on in there for the benefit of your kids, and your own life.
Hi Matt, Guys. Glad it worked out for you in the end but it must of been tough. I am not so lucky my child is 15 and what I know my ex, his mother as always given him what he wants with her husband been allowed to take the role of dad, she as openly told my son recently that his step dad is more of a father than I have been, but I did not answer back in front of my son, again I stood there and took it but inside i was crying for my son as well as me. because I am not on the birth certificate and thought had no case to fight for him when he was younger i i left it and suffered. I also did not want him dragged away from his half brothers. But it kills me now just because she felt like she told my son he cant stop with me now, it mormally lasts 6 months before he is allowed to see me, this as happened the last ten years. but she is allowed to get away with it, she is money driven and even though i pay child support, what i can afford and ordered by CSA to pay, inlcuding disputed arrears of 12 thousand, this is why I think she is like this. but she never says to our son, how many times she as just dumped him with me over the years at a minutes notice and every chance she gets he as always stays with me or relatives at weekends and school holidays.she never once said to me, 'where do you think we should said our son' or can you do more' no its always, tell your dad he owes money for school items, or your a bad dad. and now he acts as if i am not important, but i dont blame him his mom and the law and its about time we make a stand and make courts listen. glad for you matt really are but lets start getting the law changed and if any one can help me i would appreciate it. thanks
such an inspiring story
matt the £2000 was that just for the barrister ?
Hi yes the £2000 was just for the barrister but he was worth every penny, after I ran out of cash I represented myself for a long time, but for the final hearing I thought it would be better to get a professional who could present the case without being emotionally attatched( it used to reduce me to tears most the of the time)
I wish you all the luck in the world.