Since separating from my ex 3 years ago, we have had a set arrangement where we have our two children a week each and this has worked fine with no issues. I was paying maintenance on an agreement we had in place when I moved out. I found out recently that I was not liable to pay any maintenance because of the care arrangement we had in place so stopped this and also filed for divorce. Things have change drastically since then and now she is wanting the kids to live with her but I get to see them through the week and on set weekends. How can this be fair?
Hi there
Its isn’t fair, but if she has been claiming the child benefits, in the eyes of the authorities she is the primary carer.
Has she stopped the week on week, or is she threatening to do so? How old are your children, are they old enough to express their wishes about the changes?
To try and sort this out, the first step is to attempt mediation and if that fails, you can then make an application to the court for an order for shared care.
As you have been sharing care equally for 3 years, hopefully this will have a bearing on what the court would decide, but I wouldn’t let any new, reduced arrangements settle in, or that would set a new precedent.
All the best
Thanks for your reply. I've stopped paying the mortgage as well now as its just taking the pi$$ out of me to be honest. 3 years and 3 different partners going in and out of the house, confusing my daughters also. We have a child welfare hearing on the 27th, what a joke considering everything was going just fine until I stopped payments. Money grabbing [censored] lol
What’s the welfare hearing in response to? Are Children Services involved with the children’s welfare?
How far along with the divorce are you? Sorry for the twenty questions, just trying to understand, so that I can offer advice.
Divorce writ was served and approved to court on the basis that our kids are cared for equally week about which as I say has worked brilliantly for 3 years to date. Now she has decided to oppose this, there is automatically a child welfare hearing arranged. It's ridiculous as she was the one that decided not to go down the collaborative approach as her solicitor said it would start costing too much . . . . now its gonna cost more. IDIOT woman!! There are no agencies involved with the welfare of the kids and the divorce should have been granted waiting for affidavits on Monday the 11th June (soooooo close lol). She has just opened a whole new can of worms and issues as she is getting no more hand outs from me, I aint the bank of Gif anymore!!
Ah ok ... I’m not too experienced with the divorce side of things, but I would have thought that there would have to be a good reason to reduce the schedule that the children are used to, as it wouldn’t be in their best interests.
All the best
I would speak to the mortgage company about stopping paying - that can cause some serious issues by just stopping (unless your ex has picked up the payments).