my ex girlfriend (babys mum) has recently split from her partner, and he now wants access.
my little one is nearly 3 and they have been together for 2 years.
ive always been a part of my kids life and have had regular access since we split up.
she wont allow me to have more access than i already do, but she will allow him to have my child over night, infact the other night was the first time she stayed his house (to my knowledge) but even that was behind my back, i only found out by being quite lucky
im just after a bit of advice really because its making me go insane.
where does it end? what will happen with the next relationship she has....will he be daddy 3 when they split up?
(they also have 1 child together)
Hey stressball,
i'm afraid I cant tell you where you stand from the legal standpoint but I can give you the other side of the coin, maybe just to give you a different perspective...maybe not what you were looking for but it might help sort your head a bit
I've been married for 2.5 years, the wife has 2 kids, 7 and 3 now but they were 4 and 5 months when we married. Their dad is involved in their life (they see him 3 times a week, stay over once a week) and we have a baby due in November.
At first, when my wife and her ex split up, it was all quite messy and she had lots of anger towards him but he still saw his kids. However, as I came along and we moved in together, it's natural I would take care of the children, bathing them, feeding them, changing nappies, reading bedtime stories, going to the park etc. As part of all this, of course we (the kids and I) have forged a bond. It's partly why I joined this site, I became a dad! Now I have a child of my own on the way, that bond is getting even stronger.
Now I have always been the one to encourage the kids to spend time with their dad, didnt want them getting to 18 and blaming me or their mum for their not having a relationship with their dad...he can manage to screw that up on his own, but thats another story. But I feel like their dad too.
So while I'm not in anyway suggesting you can be replaced in your daughters affections, nor should you be, just think about the fact that this guy has obviously cared for your daughter for the last couple of years, forged a bond with her and maybe even done stuff you've not been able to due to living in the same house. Your daughter is a lucky girl that she has 2 men in her life who clearly love and care for her.
I know this isnt the response you were looking for but try to think about what's best for your daughter in the long run
cheers for the advice mate.
my main gripe is when he gets another family the first person who will get dropped is my kid, also what happens when the ex gets another fella and they split up?
my daughter will be passed from pillar to post,
and from a selfish point of view - i have to jump through hoops to see my baby, the ex gets funny when i ask for a few more hours, so this is time i could be having with her.
the ex has always been funny with me about access and my family, so i cant understand why he is getting such an easy ride!