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I've been seperated for 7 years 3 of which divorced.
The whole thing was a terrible experience and involved my 2 sons who are now 15 and 20.
Although I did see my sons, this wasn't without its problems. My ex wife will not allow them to be with me whilst I am with my partner and little girl, their sister despite them wanting too spend time with me.
My ex wife continues to be abusive by text towards me and my family and to my youngest son.
My youngest lies to his Mum about where he is going when he does see me. But, there is no structure for him. I work long hours in the week and find that the only time I can see him is when I am passing through where he lives. He shouldnt have to lie, and whenever het tells his Mum about seeing me with my family
My eldest Son isnt so much of an issue as he is older.
I still pay her CSA every month.
I'm really lost as to what I can do
Hi Gary C,
have you tried writing a letter to your ex explaining that your son wishes to be part of yours and his sisters life or if you have, have you tried mediation?
Regards,
Dave
Hi Dave R,
I've tried writing and on text, but just met with a load of abuse.
Mediation, she would not be in the same room as me. Even now when I do pick up my son and she drives past she likes to put the middle finger up.
She's very difficult.
Gary C
H I there,
What a dreadful situation for you and your sons. I wish I could give you some constructive advice.
It seems to me that as your son is 15 he is only one year off being able to make his own decisions, and if he wishes to visit you and his sister then there isn't anything the mother will be able to do about it.
Hi Gary
I both agree and disagree when you say your son shouldn't have to lie. I agree because he should be in such a situation in the first place, but I also disagree because it is the way in which he can best cope with the situation in which he finds himself. What I would suggest is that he might sometimes need to sit down with you and just talk about how he feels and about the past and the future - he may simply need some way of unwinding if he isn't already doing so, and also you can explain to him that although generally lying is wrong, that there are sometimes situations where it is OK to do so.
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