Hi there,
I am both new to this forum and new to the world of parenting as of May 13!
As of last week, and this morning, I am desperately in need of some advice from other fathers out there regarding the working-world.
I work a 10-hour, physically-demanding shift 5 days a week; Mom understands this and lets me get my rest throughout the week, and then I jump right in on the weekends (I feel pretty bad about this, actually). So, on the days when Mom looks as if she's about to have a complete breakdown, I tend to phone in to the workplace and tell them that I'm either going to be late or not coming in at all because I'm going to be helping Mom out with our baby that day.
Take this morning for example, and why I am at home writing this now. I guess what my dilemma is, that, I don't know if this is acceptable behavior. I understand I have a financial responsibility to uphold in order to keep putting food on the table (and in the bottles), and keeping everything paid and maintained around the house. I like my job, and I'd hate to end up losing it because I took the odd day off to tend to my child, therefore also giving Mom a rest. I understand that in the grand-scope of things, my child will always come first.
Summed up: are there any other Dads out there who have done this? Is this okay to do? As I mentioned before, I am completely brand-new to this lifestyle, and I don't know what the limits are.
Please, any opinions would be greatly appreciated!
Cheers,
Mike.
Hi Mike,
I understand your dilema, its a tough one as you want to be both the bread winner and a father, working the hours you do its hard i'm sure to be a week day father.
is there any extended support available for mum so she can grab a break mid week?
the other option is to ask your work place for flexible working so that you are able to reduce hours within reason when needed.
GTTS
i dont think you should do anything that risks the job, so if work is ok with it or you can come to some sort of arrangement then great, but i think your life and your families life would be much harder and stressful if you lost your job. is there any family close by that can help out on the week days? new borns are hard work but in my experience it does get easier (or you get more used to it cant tell which!).
I think you need to speak to your HR department to see what their view is - if someone else can cover for you at short notice, and they are happy for that to happen on occasions, then it shouldn't be an issue. The danger is that if you jeopardise your job, and end up losing it, then a new employer may be put off in the first place if they think you aren't reliable, or certainly not allow you too do what you are doing.
Perhaps a solution might be to plan a day off (or even half a day) mid week every month to give your wife a midweek break - it' something she can look forward to and it will allow work to plan around it.
However, I have to add that I think you are being brilliant with you consideration for your partner 🙂