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ASK DEBBIE- I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BOND WITH MY STEPSON.

Ask Debbie

Ask Debbie

Dads, do you struggle sometimes? Who do you reach out to for help? Debbie Pattison, a qualified counsellor at Fegans can answer your questions. Send them in to Ask Debbie at info@dad.info and if she can she will answer. Today’s question is about problems in a Dad’s relationship with his stepson.

I am a Stepdad. I have known my stepson (4 years old)  for the last 2 years of his life, but I feel that I am struggling to have a bond with him. I love my girlfriend very much and I want to be able to love her son too. What can I do to improve this relationship?

Stepdad

Dear Stepdad,

It is so lovely to hear how much you want to build a good loving relationship with your stepson. He is still very young and it may take time to improve the relationship that you have with him at the moment.  Just be patient, continue to spend time with him and take him out to some fun places with you and his mum. Ask him what he would like to do and try to take an interest in what he is doing whether that is playing a game or drawing. 

He may at times fear you will take up some of the time he spends with his mother. Go at his pace, explain that you want to be his friend, to spend time with him and his mum. Be patient and consistent and in time he will realize that you enhance their lives and your relationship will grow. 

All best wishes, Debbie

About Debbie,

Debbie is an experienced counsellor and advocate for children and adult’s mental health.

Find out more about online counselling with Fegans

If you would like to find our more information about our online counselling, provided by experienced and qualified counsellors leave your details below and Debbie will be in touch for an informal chat to talk through the process and the costs. We work with young people (aged 10 and over) and parents.

(Bursaries are available for families on lower incomes)

Counselling with Fegans

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