DAD.info
Free online course for separated parents
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Free online course for separated parents
DAD.info | Ask Debbie | ASK DEBBIE- I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BOND WITH MY STEPSON.

ASK DEBBIE- I DON’T KNOW HOW TO BOND WITH MY STEPSON.

Ask Debbie

Ask Debbie

Dads, do you struggle sometimes? Who do you reach out to for help? Debbie Pattison, a qualified counsellor at Fegans can answer your questions. Send them in to Ask Debbie at info@dad.info and if she can she will answer. Today’s question is about problems in a Dad’s relationship with his stepson.

I am a Stepdad. I have known my stepson (4 years old)  for the last 2 years of his life, but I feel that I am struggling to have a bond with him. I love my girlfriend very much and I want to be able to love her son too. What can I do to improve this relationship?

Stepdad

Dear Stepdad,

It is so lovely to hear how much you want to build a good loving relationship with your stepson. He is still very young and it may take time to improve the relationship that you have with him at the moment.  Just be patient, continue to spend time with him and take him out to some fun places with you and his mum. Ask him what he would like to do and try to take an interest in what he is doing whether that is playing a game or drawing. 

He may at times fear you will take up some of the time he spends with his mother. Go at his pace, explain that you want to be his friend, to spend time with him and his mum. Be patient and consistent and in time he will realize that you enhance their lives and your relationship will grow. 

All best wishes, Debbie

About Debbie

Debbie is an experienced counsellor and advocate for children and adult’s mental health.

Find out more about online counselling with Fegans

Our counselling sessions cost £48 (they are therapy not legal advice, for divorce and separation support please use our forum). If you would like to find our more information about our online counselling, provided by experienced and qualified counsellors leave your details below and Debbie will be in touch for an informal chat to talk through the process and the costs. We work with young people (aged 10 and over) and parents.

Counselling with Fegans

By submitting this form you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms & Conditions.

Related entries

Ask Debbie: How do I talk about periods with my daughters?

Ask Debbie: How do I talk about periods with my daughters?

Every month our resident counsellor Debbie answers a question from our readers. This week she advises a dad how to approach embarrassing growing-up issues with his kids: Dear Embarrassing Dad, You sound a great father, who really wants to do your best for your girls....

Ask Debbie- I’ve been replaced by another man

Ask Debbie- I’ve been replaced by another man

Dear Lost Dad, I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. I am sure you are feeling arollercoaster of emotions and are feeling protective towards your children andtheir thoughts and feelings on this. I agree that your children may be feeling confused right now,...

Ask Debbie: I wish I had a better bond with my son

Ask Debbie: I wish I had a better bond with my son

Dear Sad Dad, I really feel for you here. It's hard when you are working and don’t feel that you are around as much as you would like to be- and then feel that you don’t have a close relationship with your child. You can build a positive parent-child relationship with...

Latest entries

Understanding ADHD

Understanding ADHD

The term ADHD (which stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is often thrown around, but many are unaware of the actual symptoms of the condition and the effect it has on children's lives. ADHD effects around 3.62% of boys and nearly 1% of girls in the...

Are you a dad who smokes? 5 reasons why you should quit

Are you a dad who smokes? 5 reasons why you should quit

You know the risks to your own health already (you see them on the packet every time you take out a cigarette). However, did you know of the effects that smoking can have on your kids? Your kids are 4 times more likely to become smokers Research by the Better Health...

6 tips to help manage your kid’s screen time

6 tips to help manage your kid’s screen time

Screens and gaming can be both a blessing and a curse for parents; they offer kids the chance to be absorbed in an activity, but for parents this benefit can be marred by a feeling of guilt. Shouldn't kids be outside playing rather than on screens? Some of the time,...

Pin It on Pinterest