Hi all, I've tried to find a clear answer to my question on the forum but haven't had much luck so wanted to try here. Sorry if it has been covered already... I was served a non mol during lockdown almost a year ago which I completely dispute but it appears the courts rule in favour of women without seeking an answer from the father. How shocking and depressing!
From what I've read, my case seems a little different as I ended the relationship and no violence or abuse was mentioned as part of her complaint. Rather it was that I didn't stop contact and told my ex that using lockdown as an excuse not to see my child was breaking the law which was agreed by a family solicitor in an initial legal aid session.
My question is this: how am I able to see my child without contacting my ex? I've spoken to multiple solicitors but they of course ask for a minimum of £1000 on account which I simply cannot afford. I'd rather put that into my child's bank account...
I've trawled several sites trying to find an answer which brought me here. I've tried to call families need fathers dozens of times but get an automated message saying no one can take my call right now despite trying at various times of the day and was surprised to see they charge for forum membership. A father's support "charity" seems more like an overcharging business.
I don't want to give up but feel like I'm trying to fight something that is heavily outweighed and utterly unfair.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
Dan
The fnf membership will be the best money you ever spend the advice knowledge on the site is amazing sign yourself up today post on the forum you will get plenty of help and guidance towards mckenzie friends cost fraction of what you would be charged by Solictor’s
Hi Dan
Having been served with a non mol myself I can share my own solicitors advice.
Depending on the wording of the non mol, this will determine how you approach this. It will either say no contact at all or it will say no contact except for the purposes of child contact or it will say no contact except via a 3rd party for the purposes of child contact. Did you attend an initial non mol hearing and challenge the wording?
If it allows third party then you can do this via a solicitor although clearly there will be a cost, or via friends/family who are trusted and will not harass her and will try to stay child focused and neutral.. Failing this you can use a contact centre who would attempt to contact your ex to arrange supervised child contact.
However, your ex can reject all contact and refuse and you would have no grounds to challenge other than submit a C100 to the court for a Child Arrangements Order.
Unfortunately with a non mol in place, arranging contact is not easy and you will have to accept that until you either discharge it by disputing and being successful or it expires, attempting contact will challenging.
All always it is crucial you do not breach the non mol even for the purposes of child contact as this will significantly count against you.
All the best.
If your non mol was served nearly a year ago, it seems likely that it will end soon as they mostly last a year. I agree with Daddyup that there could be some wording about child contact. However, if its a blanket no contact, then you can apply on a FL403 to vary the non mol to allow you to have contact in some way for the purpose of seeing the children. Its a simple form and you can do it yourself without needing a solicitor. You may need to complete a C100 at the same time as that will specify the contact you would like to set up, particularly if she's being difficult about contact
@Daddyup Thanks so much for sharing your insights and experience you've been very helpful. The wording stated that I was not to contact my ex except for child arrangements to be made so I did contact her saying all I wanted was access but the next week the order was revised to say no contact at all.
It's demeaning and shocking that a court order includes wording such as this:
AND UPON the Court having only considered the evidence of the Applicant and no findings of fact having
been made but the court being satisfied, on the balance of probabilities, that the criteria for making this order
have been met
No findings of fact... The judicial system needs a massive reform.
@champagne thanks for the pointers I'm researching the forms now.
In situations where the wording gets changed, this is an indication that you need to follow the C100 route. You can try the varying non mol route but im unsure of success.
In my case I had very specific wording in no contact except via third party (namely my mother) for the purposes of child contact.
When does it expire?
Whenever it does, do not attempt to make contact, you will end up with another one. In the meantime plan your next steps..
Ps in relation to the wording on your order being shocking. Unfortunately the courts will err on the side of caution and using a balance of probabilities to protect children. You should have been given guidance to take the matter to a fact finding hearing so that you can challenge the non mol? If so then if this is what you decide to do then you should do this 1st rather than any other option.
In my case, I didn't challenge as I had a criminal case being looked at too and didn't want to prejudice or disclose anything in the family court thst could impact criminal court..