Being Too Scared To Go To Court
I suffer from really bad anxiety and I decided to go to court on my own to save costs but I am really scared about when I have to go in in case the mother or the mother's mum is violent towards me. What should I do ?
I would suggest you turn up nice and early. and an ideal place to sit would be in waiting area that is as close as possible to the receptionists/admin desk. try not to worry, they often have security guards walking around. you may feel more at ease if you take a taxi and they drop you off at the entrance to court building.
if you have a friend or family member who is available, you could ask if they can go with you.
You could ask for 'special measures' in that you'd like a separate waiting area/separate entrance. I agree to turn up early and take someone with you. There is unlikely to be any violence in a public area but agree its best to make precautions.
Have you had the court case, how did it go?
@warhammer So I got the safeguarding letter back from CAFCASS now. It says on there Social services were involved due to one of the issues I raised about my ex being aggressive in mannor towards our daughter and pulling her legs when changing her nappy. Social services said they seem the mother to be fine and no issues with our daughter; however they found out her mum (she punched me and has been domestically voilent towards me) punched me, threated me etc. social services found out she has a history of domestic abuse and C's step-dad / dad has a history of alcoholism. He doesn't live with our daughter though which is good. But I guess it shows evidence about her mum which is good.
CAFCASS put on the letter G will have her own bedroom with me. So I guess that would go in my favour. All of the other allegations my ex made against me weren't mentioed to CAFCASS so I don't know if I can use this somehow in my postion statement? Her allegations don't match up what she told CAFCASS to what was in the C1A form.
She's then made up other allegations completely irrelivent. e.g. I'm a reckless driver so she doesn't trust me with our daughter (saying I had a car crash) and that I apparently wripped off the insurance claim etc. Then she said I threw a stone or something and saying she reported it to the police but the police turned round and said nothing has been reported... Then my ex is still babbling on about my uncle who has depression and saying because he takes overdoses or has done, that he's a risk. CAFCASS said to me G is going to be supervised by me at all times around him anyway so it isn't a risk. (he isn't anyway).
Both me and my ex have requested the court date be done via a meeting online and I have requested so I don't see her. She mentioned in the report as well that she will do contact but only two hours and I have to be with one of her family, so I'm sure CAFCASS won't like that. She's accused me of being cntrolling in the relationship / basically similar to what my first ex accused me off in court. However, my first ex who I went to court with said she will do me a statement which I will be picking up on Sunday outlining I am a good dad etc as I get on with her now. So hopefully, it will go in my favour.
@kierana001 hello I think this does sound in your favour. Do you have your court hearing date yet? What contact are you asking for? What contact do you currently have?
Yes, the only downside on my part is the fact I've been to court before and she's using similar allegations so they might try and use that to back them up?
I currently don't have any contact, I was only getting two hours on a Wednesday with my ex which wasn't including my son so hopefully I'll get more. Currently asked for Wed - Friday one week then Saturday - Monday the next week, on a cycling basis each week. I don't have a court date just yet.
Wondering if there's anything I can do or get some extra documentation to add with the position statement and txt message screens to back myself up a bit?
At the end of my first court case, the courts told my ex that they would not listen to her accusations again, a line was drawn, they said only new allegations would be taken in to account.
Just to be clear you do not currently have a court order for your child?
The courts will take in to account the age of child and are they at school, can you take them to school, nursery.
I hadn’t seen my son (baby):for 2 years while the court case was ongoing. The courts gave me contact in a contact centre, then contact with child and ex, then eventually he came home. It all takes time and goes at pace to suit the child. Perhaps you should have a plan in your mind to build contact up slowly. My court order stated contact times for first 6 weeks, then it changed for few more weeks contact increasing all the time, then had a set date where the final arrangement would start from.
Which was Thursday, Tuesday then long weekend, built up to overnight stays. I pick up from school and drop back to school, so don’t see ex. It Might look good if you come up with a proposal like this and say happy to work at a pace to suit my child.
The courts are acting for the child, they need to know they are going to be safe, happy, cared for, so that’s where you should come from. They don’t like parents attacking each other in statements or in court. Have you been told to do a statement?
if you do have to go to court, they have security, you can take a friend, plenty of seats so don’t sit near them, don’t react to them, if they do anything it will go against them, the judge will be told.
It will be worth all of this worry when you have your child in your life.
If you let the court know that there are issues between you, they should make arrangements for you to be able to sit in a separate area while you are waiting to go in.