I’m looking for some advice please. I’m currently paying my ex-partner £220.00 per month maintenance for my two children. 4 and 8 years old. At the moment I currently work two jobs in order to pay my rent, bills, etc. I work full time Monday to Friday and carry out courier work on a Sunday. I have my children Wed, Thur overnight one week and Wed, Thur, Fri, Sat overnight the following week. They’re in my care up until 8:00-9:00 pm Sunday night then go back to their mothers. Given that they’re in my care 49.5% of the week. I want to keep them on the Sunday eve of my weekend then I can have 50/50 access. Their mother is refusing me this extra evening.
I work all day Sunday, arrange child care for them whilst working. By the time I finish work in the afternoon I hardly get much time to spend with them before they go home. I need to find ways to save money so I don’t have to carry out working this second job. Gives me a full day back with the children.
Researching into maintenance and child access. 50 / 50 access could grant me not having to pay as much or nothing at all, allowing me to save enough money and finish this weekend work. I feel slightly aggrieved as I’m paying this for the sake of 1 extra night every fortnight. I’m already paying myself for the children’s clothes, school uniform, after school club, football club etc.
Could someone guide me in what I should do? I don’t want to take any food out of the children’s mouth or jeopardise anything for them financially but their mother has gotten herself in quite a lot of debt and I feel like the money isn’t being used for the children and paying her debt off. She’s refused to let me have them the extra night. What would be the next step?
Cheers
Hi
The only way you can force the extra night, assuming your ex won't agree to it, would be to try mediation and if your ex doesn't agree, then go to court. The problem you face is that a court would probably look at the contact you already have and say that the mother is being reasonable with the contact you have and not make an order. What you must not do is to make the application about the financial side, as the courts are not interested at all in this, and this would quite possibly go against you.
I assume you are paying via CMS, and assuming that's the case, then that is all you are required to pay, so you don't have to pay for uniform, and also after school clubs while in her care.
Thanks for the feedback. A little
more info. We’ve had one mediation session. I brought it up and she wouldn’t agree. Her and the mediator suggested I swap my overnight stay to Sunday but sacrifice the Wed. Keeping the same days. I’m trying my best to not make it about the money although I’m trying to cut costs so I can give up the weekend work. Saving This CM would be the one to stop it. It’s a catch 22 situation.
I pay privately to her not through CMS. It’s been amicable and agreed that way. pairs through the Bank labelled up as Child Maintenance
She kept asking me to go halves for clothes and uniform although she gets the CM from me. I refused so she told me to start buying my own then. Sent the kids in old clothes whilst in my care. I kitted them both out with a new wardrobe each.
Thanks again for the valuable information.
hi,
I think it would be a bad idea to go to court to ask for an extra night. as actd mentioned it appears your ex is already being reasonable by letting child stay with you for a decent amount of time. Have you used the CMS calculator to work what your paying? that is a common arrangement where the dad is having to buy own set of clothes for the kids, when they are staying with him. I'm doing the same.
As bill says, check the CMS calculator, if it says you should pay less, then you have the option to open a case with them (costs a one off fee of £20) and pay just that amount, and nothing more.
With regards to the clothes - that's a common trick of sending them in old clothes. In which case, buy clothes for your children to wear at yours, but then send them back in the same clothes they came in and keep the clothes you've bought at your house.