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CAO: Had safeguarding assessment letter with load of bollocks from my ex.

 
Bestdad111
(@Bestdad111)
Eminent Member Registered

Hi guys. 

I needed advise if someone had gone through my situation and need advise on what you did. 

I had my safeguadring interview for child arrangement order with a social worker 2 weeks back and today I recieved a copy of the letter/assesment and I'm shocked to see what my ex is telling me about how unsafe I am with my children aged 2 and 6. She had made accusations such as slapping, hitting, shouting and careless behavior with my children but the reallity I was the best Dad in the world and not aggressive or violent towards children. It has also advised by the SW that no interim order to take place untill assesement has been completed. Have a feeling that the SW bought her story as she has mentioned on the report that she is concerned that the father has rough handled and further assistant by court ia advised of risk to ensure safe long term arrangement for the two kids. This is ridiculous. I'm devastated!

Just wondering what is going to happen now and Im worried there wont be no contact with my children. I suggested children to be dropped at my house over the weekend but she is so evil she wants zero contact. Im nervous .

And she has also changed the 6 year old boys school without my knowledge. Just found out on the report.

Can you dad please advise how I can back my situation.

A little back ground of my case.
-a non molestation order is in place since feb. I challenged.
-previoisly my x involved social worker saying I pushed her and been aggressive. And for backup she got a police report.
-havent seen children since Christmas. -Applied for CAO in March beginning.
Ex living with her mother and the new school now is where she lives.

Thanks in advance.

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 19/05/2021 6:53 pm
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi,

when is your first court hearing?

initial safeguarding call/letter is just start of the case, to find out the background and what should happen next. If cafcass stated that there should be no contact in the meantime, it is temporary. Sounds like they will do a section 7 report, to assess whether its safe for child to have contact with you. process that takes 8-12 weeks. All I can suggest is at your 1st hearing you ask for contact with child in the interim, as hearings go on. would advise to prepare yourself mentally now, as there is chance you won't see your child up until the 1st hearing, and possibly up until 2nd hearing.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 20/05/2021 9:53 pm
warwickshire1
(@warwickshire1)
Honorable Member Registered

Stay calm and dont rise to anything the social worker throws at you. When its early days and theres young children involved they normally appear biased or sit on the fence are basically useless and spend most of their time trying to get a rise out of you. All i can say is bite your tongue and work with social worker and dismiss calmly anything that isnt true and dont bad mouth ex or social worker will just make things worse for you. Work with them and you will get their in end . It is very common at family court for no contact to take place when you have an ex partner refusing until sometimes final hearing.

How comes social worker is involved. Its normally cafcass..i am guessing children are on child protection plan or child in need plan at moment whilst family court proceedings are taking place. If they are make sure you attend all meetings and show an interest

ReplyQuote
Posted : 20/05/2021 10:18 pm
Bestdad111
(@Bestdad111)
Eminent Member Registered

@bill337

 

Yes, initially this will go for section 7 assessment. But my worry is my x have mentioned violent behavior towards my kids and not safe with me on the safeguarding interview letter. The cafcass on the sg letter mentioned to advise to court section no interim contact advised until the assesement has been complete. Now my worry is because she made these allegations I'm never going to see my children freely? say the cafcass believes her story. This is what worrying me.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 21/05/2021 11:28 am
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi, 

try not to worry. my ex made serious allegations against me. in my s7 interview cafcass got to know me, and dismissed her allegations and gave me green light for contact. a year later I applied to court for more contact and got it. if it happens that they want you to have supervised contact, then they would like it to gradually build up to having unsupervised contact. if you have a clean police record, then things should go fairly easy for you.

I would recommend you complete cafcass parenting plan: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/parenting-plan/

bring it up in your S7 interview. this will help your case and show that your child focused and serious about co-parenting.

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 21/05/2021 11:32 am
Bestdad111
(@Bestdad111)
Eminent Member Registered

@warwickshire1

Sorry by social worker I meant cafcass (no children protection is in place) My worry is because she made this accusation about being violent towards my kids making me panic that I wont be able to see my children at all. 

I will try to be calm with cafcass assesemnt and bite my tongue

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 21/05/2021 11:33 am
Bestdad111
(@Bestdad111)
Eminent Member Registered

@warwickshire1

OK. I will try not bad mouth her and focus on the children but what if she is going to bad mouth during s7 assessment (which Im 100% sure she will)  like say stuff like children are not safe with me and Im bad father who yells and doesnt support. This is what said in sg letter. And her mother as well going to bad mouth about me im careless and stuff?? Which isnt true.

I m just worrying the cafcass dont belive her story Im alone in the city My family is abroad. 

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 21/05/2021 3:42 pm
warwickshire1
(@warwickshire1)
Honorable Member Registered

@Bestdad111

You calmly dismiss all allegations . You strongly state that she is saying this to obstruct you having a loving relatonship with your child/children.  Remember if you come across calm and child focused and not slagging ex off this will look good when cafcass are speaking to you. You fire back with allegations it makes matters worse as nothing happens to mum anyway so best to ignore and go for a great contact order.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22/05/2021 9:44 pm
Tarac
(@tarac)
New Member Registered

@Bestdad111

Show you only want to have contact with YOUR children, explain that it is in their best interest to have contact with you, say you do not accept what mother is saying and admit not being the most perfect dad but you are trying, willing to learn more, reading up on the subject, you are even here for that reason, you are a good father since you care and as for the ex, say you are not on best of terms at the moment and there is anger and resentment on her part, but you are hopefull, for the benefit of the children, you will be amicable again as she is a good mother and is also trying to protect children from harm as are you ....be calm and dont bad mouth her THEY GET IT - they see it daily and hear it all ...just be the nice , kind , calm person for the sake of your children ...

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/05/2021 7:05 pm
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