Hi All, need advice/guidance. Solicitors are involved but it's so back and forth. We are taking it to court for both child arrangements and finances but that's only in a few months time.
For reasons only known to her she doesn't let me see the kids unsupervised or let me have them stay over. There is no reason for this except of course due to malice and wanting an element of control over all this.
She even keeps demanding money to a point I broke down and just sent her a lumpsum. Of which she brought herself a vehicle worth 13k and used just 500 for the kids! My solicitors were not happy that i sent the cash but she was relentless... and so I did.
She thereafter started to talk ill about me to the oldest kid... and it's caused issues with my relationship with the kids !
And in the middle or this she involves cms that demanded I pay an exorbitant amount, despite i payin her lumpsum this month. To her its all about the money i suppose!!
She's also now cohabiting with her new partner alongside the kids. However, I have no control of anything. I don't know this dude but he gets to hang out with my kids but I can't!!
This whole thing has been frustrating!! Any advice because the system is useless
hi,
sorry to hear your going through tough time. if your going through courts, all you can really do is wait it out and go through the process. at 1st hearing you can seek interim contact with the kids. have cafcass spoken to you and given a safeguarding letter?
in meantime you could write to her solicitor and ask if possible to arrange contact with kids.
@bill337 apparently they can't talk to me until court proceedings have commenced.
Hello,
Once you go through the courts and have some decisions made, life will be slowly coming back to normal. Could i suggest you keep record of everything, money you send her (if you send this lump sum, do you have record of this?) and try to make phone recordings of your visits, child contacts and screen shots of your conversations. You will find that they become useful later on in life.
Regarding new man around your kids, I know it hurts, but try to be calm. Concentrate on kids, to have as much as you can contact, even as phone call if you can. Look at this way, new guy doesn't know her that well as you do and first argument they have, he will slowly realize what he got himself in. You need to build mental strength for what you will go through.
Hello,
Once you go through the courts and have some decisions made, life will be slowly coming back to normal. Could i suggest you keep record of everything, money you send her (if you send this lump sum, do you have record of this?) and try to make phone recordings of your visits, child contacts and screen shots of your conversations. You will find that they become useful later on in life.
Regarding new man around your kids, I know it hurts, but try to be calm. Concentrate on kids, to have as much as you can contact, even as phone call if you can. Look at this way, new guy doesn't know her that well as you do and first argument they have, he will slowly realize what he got himself in. You need to build mental strength for what you will go through.
Hang on in there as its going to be an emotional roller coaster. Bear in mind that child contact and maintenance payments are two separate issues. Maintenance will be due even if you don't see the kids. You can look on the CMS website calculator for an estimate of how much you should be paying although it sounds as though payment has already been assessed. They won't take into account the lump sum you paid as this was voluntary. Hopefully you will get contact in due course and I suggest you use AppClose for making arrangements as conversations cannot be deleted. It will also be a record of any abuse you get
Dealing with an ex-wife who refuses to let me see our kids without supervision and constantly demands money, even after I sent a lump sum, has been incredibly frustrating. She uses the children as leverage and talks ill about me to them, damaging our relationship. Now, she's involving CMS for more money. It's infuriating to see her prioritize finances over our children's well-being.