@bt44 hi,
You could try make same points for getting child benefits. Have a look:
https://www.gov.uk/child-benefit-child-lives-with-someone-else
I would suggest you make the CM payments. They will cause lot of problems for you if you don't pay.
@bill337 thanks.
I'll definitely give that a go. I know i'm not telling anyone in here anything new, but I just can't understand how the system is so biased against men, even when presented with facts.
I've been allowing her to live in our house, whilst still being on the mortgage, because I wanted it to be amicable (there was no fault in the separation, although it was her that wanted it), but I'm now going to suggest I'll have to go to court over the house if she doesn't agree that I shouldn't be paying maintenance. The system really does back you into a corner, I've even considered saying I can't have the kids as much if I'm having to pay, knowing that she wouldn't be able to afford the child care so something would have to give, but that would just hurt the kids in the long run.
I was wrong to do so, but I'd got my hopes up that the letter would sort it out (how could it not?). Guess I shouldn't have been so naive.
@bt44 did you get anywhere with your case ? I’m in the exact same position , just getting things ready for tribunal . Worried that I’ll lose this as she gets child benefit and he’s registered at the surgery where she lives . I live 14 miles away in a different health board . Although I have attended hospital , dental and opticians appointments . I pay for uniform and I organise and pay for all extra curricular activities . I do all the pick ups and drop offs for contact but it seems CB seems to be the trump card
@flint1812 Hi, I am in the same boat at you regarding tribunal. I submitted my form and evidence last year but have not yet managed to get a hearing date. Have you heard anything back as of yet?
Hi guys, I'm in a similar position to many of you. I have joint lives with order after many following various court hearings, I was able to start having the overnight stays again; however; Mother applied to CMS in July 2021.
The initial maintenance was calculated to include shared care band B (104-155 nights) shared care reductions, resulting in a maintenance liability of £120pw.
There is now a court order "joint lives with" equal care of both children and a copy was submitted to CMS for the case to be closed.
During a call with CMS, they had stated that the court order should be sufficient to close the case and no maintenance payments due. As I didn’t receive any further contact from CMS, I assumed the order had been accepted and no payments were required.
In Jan 2022, CMS recalculated my maintenance under the mandatory reconsideration process to include band equal (175+ nights). This reduced my maintenance to £70pw and backdated to 21.
CMS now issued a Deduction of Earnings Order (DEO) against my wages to collect per month to include an outstanding arrears balance.
They claim her to primary parent due to the fact she gets the child benefit.
I'm going to appeal, the thing I'm struggling with is the evidence of equal caring for the children, I hear that the order isn't enough.
templates people have used as part of their appeal form.
@superabdad Hi I recommend you join this CMS support group on FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/239699060076601
please make sure to answer their registration questions to be let in.
I have some members there were sent a letter from CMS, with a list of questions, like who takes children to school, who takes them to doctors appointments, after school activities etc.
Hey all quick question, i actually only have my children 6 nights a fortnight .
I have them every wednesday and every thursday, and we alternate weekends, the only reason it isnt 50/50 is because i have to return the children at 6pm on a sunday on my weekend.
I have them for 1 extra week during the holidays ( i do 7 she does 6 ) all of which is documented in a court order. I pay for considerably more clubs etc than her. Do i have any chance of not paying CMS? I find it ridiculous that those extra couple of hours in the evening and breakfast on monday morning are the difference between a pretty big CMS monthly payment and non at all.
thanks,
Dave
@hopefuldad Hi, does your court order state that children live with both parents? also if the day-day care is equal between both parents, e.g. school runs/doctors appointments etc, then I think you stand a good chance to push CMS to decide that there is no maintenance to pay. heard lot of cases like this and takes a lot of time and effort.
I recommend you join this CMS support group on FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/239699060076601
there's a lot of paying parents there who have fought CMS over this and won.
Hi all - am new to this forum and its great to see so much advice and help available. My case is relatively similar but with a twist I guess. any help, thoughts would be massively appreciated.
I left a toxic marriage over 12 years ago and since then, have raised my 2 daughters 50/50. I have created a working life around raising my daughters, have them around 184 nights every year (more than the mother) and am active in taking them to the dr, dentist, optician, sort and pay school uniform, attend parent/teacher meetings, sort and pay mobile phones for daughters, sorted bank accounts and pay pocket money each month (mother doesn't), pay for all travel cards etc. I also pay 50% of the mortgage on the home where my ex lives (I do part own it). My ex and I have only recently gone through divorce where all marital assets split equally. it was said that any child maintenance claim of hers is "a backdoor to spousal maintenance". She's been on 4 holidays abroad with her boyfriend in last 2 years and is about to take our daughters to Spain in the Summer for 2 weeks. She works part time and earns less than me. She claims child benefit.
She's recently put in a claim for child maintenance. I have been told to pay a heavy sum which I contested under a mandatory reconsideration because I already pay and sort more than the mother does and am heavily involved in the day to day care. The CMS has me registered as 'Shared Care Band Equal" which suggests I have the girls more than 52 nights/year - that doesn't make sense to me. How can shared equal care mean one night/week? During this time, the CMS suggested I speak with Gingerbread charity - they heard my story and said there should be nothing to pay.
For the mandatory reconsideration, I uploaded to the CMS private portal all my evidence of day to day care - 9 files as PDF - within the correct time period and received on-screen messages saying my files had been received. I took date stamped screen grabs of these messages.
2 weeks later, I receive a rejection of the reconsideration citing a 'lack of evidence'. I rang and asked for more information and was told the CMS only received 2 documents of evidence from me, not 9. I spoke to a case worker who suggested I re-upload all my evidence and he would call me the next day to confirm receipt. It took 4 different attempts on 4 different days for the case worker to eventually receive all my evidence, each time, I would receive onscreen messages saying the files had been received - but they weren't. At one stage, I received an on-screen message from the CMS portal to say "the system is't working at this time"...
I have asked if they would reopen the mandatory reconsideration again given there was a glitch in their portal. I also noted how odd it is that the CMS portal has no area where you can see which files you have uploaded as evidence etc. Seems to me, their system is not fit for purpose for such important financial and emotional matters.
I am waiting for a reply from them currently. However, my questions are as follow - any help, would be massively appreciated:
- Should I wait to see if they will reopen my mandatory reconsideration case and see if my appeal is upheld? I believe the strength of my evidence is good but am told this could take 6-8 weeks and the issue is that once a decision is made, the CMS usually stands by its initial finding, whatever.
- Should I progress to Appeal Tribunal now? This could save time in the long run if the CMS stands their ground but emotionally draining given I've just spent 3 years in divorce courts.
My other point is that my maintenance payments are accruing since Feb when my ex- first put the claim in. This is before any proper consideration or due diligence from the CMS to hear my side and take into account. Seems judgement is made and then you have to prove your way out rather than the CMS doing a more thorough job initially. My ex now wants the money outstanding and payments each month - but this is purely as a proxy for spousal maintenance and to refill her savings account. She is threatening to go to my employer to get the money direct from salary. The CMS has told me that if I pay the maintenance to my ex and then win at appeal, she has to give that money back to me but the CMS has no authority to enforce her to do so, so I would have to go to the small claims court to get that money back. That seems absolutely madness to me. Surely it would make more sense to hold the money in an escrow account while any appeal was being conducted and then pass the money to whoever wins? Do I have to pay this money each month while the appeal is being conducted?
Thanks for reading, sorry for the lengthy one. Any thoughts, comments massively appreciated...
sam
@dede I'm very keen on discussing this with you, I am about to start the "mandatory reconsideration" process and any tips from dads like you on the appeal process would surely prove beneficial. If you are open to a quick chat please message me.
@bt44 I'm very keen on discussing this with you, I am about to start the "mandatory reconsideration" process and any tips from dads like you on the appeal process would surely prove beneficial. If you are open to a quick chat please message me.
@itsme2022 happy to help and share thoughts - being new on here, i cant DM yet for some reason. if you're happy to chat here?