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[Solved] Secondary School Choice

 
mallen5778
(@mallen5778)
New Member Registered

Both my children go to the primary local to where i live which is in the original family home, mother moved out the area (10 miles away). Both children are registered at my address still with the council and schools, doctors etc... but myself and the mother do have 50/50 custody and day-to-day care of both children. The ex lives such a distance they don't support the children attending after school activities they want to go to or football training and matches (or similar) they want to go to etc...

Keep in mind I live where the children have grown up and still attend school etc...

One of my two children is about to go to high school and my preference is the local one, but mother wants the child to go to another school out the area. She is also suggesting after over 2years of separation that her address will all of a sudden take precedence as she clams child benefit ie. go with her choice or she'll choose a completely different school (keep in mind our 50/50 situation has been in place since the very beginning and children registered at my address).

I have always been the one to apply for the school places and from the address i reside at currently. Everything is also registered to my address when it comes to the kids...

It was the ex who moved away for her own reasons, the kids have nothing where she lives. no friends, clubs, or anything. everything is based in the town i live in.

So for me it is about taking balanced holistic view...for me it is if it works today why change it where it means the children will be even more stressed with longer school trips, early mornings, later evenings etc...

I guess to add to this as well, i had CMS payments dismissed and have a written statement from the Tribunal hearing that we both have equal day-to-day care and that NEITHER parent can be considered as "non-resident".

I'm pretty sure after all this time the precedence has already been set; has anyone ever experienced anything similar via the family court and which way it went?

Has anyone ever attempted to go for further custody so as to provide the children a more stable normal lifestyle?

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Topic starter Posted : 11/07/2020 12:22 pm
Daddyup
(@Daddyup)
Honorable Member Registered

I've not experienced this but I imagine that you will need to first discuss with ex, then look at mediation and failing that family court.

Depending on the ages of the kids there will need to be some compromise and you will need to give way on certain issues but also stand your ground on certain aspects.

Kids can adapt to new things and areas but stability is important. Eg can the kids stay in your area for school but do clubs near to your ex or in the middle or vice versa?

If you do not concede on anything then from what I understand the family court is a bit hit and miss especially if you have 50/50.

Mediation is going to be key.

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Posted : 11/07/2020 1:55 pm
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi,

sounds like this is something both of you will have to negotiate/agree on. or other option would be going to court.

---

Q) My ex-partner has indicated that he wants to move our children from their current school into a school of his choice, whether I agree or not. What can I do, if anything?

In most instances where parents are living separately they retain joint parental responsibility for their children. This means that they must both agree to significant decisions affecting their children’s lives. This includes things such as their religion, where they are schooled, what surname they will have, and so on.

In terms of a potential move of school, the school staff should be very aware of the need to ensure that where parents are separated that they both agree with the decision.

Having said that, should an ex-partner go ahead without consent of the other parent, then there is action that can be taken. Actions within the Court system can be taken both to prevent such steps (a Prohibited Steps Order), and to reach a decision as to which school would be the most suitable for their children (a Specific Issue Order).

Consideration will have to be given as to what is in that child’s best interests and what the potential benefits might be of moving school, which would obviously be a significant event in a child’s life.

http://www.chadwicklawrence.co.uk/legal-news/can-ex-partner-move-children-new-school-without-consent/

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11/07/2020 3:40 pm
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi mallen5778,

was it easy to get a 50/50 agreement, and this was done through courts?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11/07/2020 3:42 pm
mallen5778
(@mallen5778)
New Member Registered

hi mallen5778,

was it easy to get a 50/50 agreement, and this was done through courts?

Ex tried to go through court for custody years ago but she was told my solicitors and carfcass at initial hearing she would probably lose and in fact they would award me custody to me so she pulled out and we agreed mutually.

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Topic starter Posted : 11/07/2020 4:56 pm
mallen5778
(@mallen5778)
New Member Registered

Issue is she has mow said she wont support kids activities after school and out of school even with me helping so when they are with her they have no activities.

She also struggles to get them to school due to her shifts so I have to help on occasion with that. This would be impossible to do should the kids go to a school other than olij my local area. Which is also the same school I went to and most of his friends will he attending.

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Topic starter Posted : 11/07/2020 4:59 pm
mallen5778
(@mallen5778)
New Member Registered

Issue is she has now said she wont support kids activities after school and out of school even with me helping so when they are with her they have no activities.

She also struggles to get them to school due to her shifts so I have to help on occasion with that. This would be impossible to do should the kids go to a school other than olij my local area. Which is also the same school I went to and most of his friends will he attending.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 11/07/2020 4:59 pm
Daddyup
(@Daddyup)
Honorable Member Registered

Ah ok, cpl of things you've said now changes things a little.

She can't facilitate after school clubs and struggle to get kids to school based on her shifts.

Do you think she is relying too much on you to support? Do you support on days where the kids are not technically with you?

I really think you need to discuss with her and failing that look at mediation.

Maybe keep a diary of what kids do (or don't) when they are with you and with her and also where you have to support her.

What do the kids think and want as this will also be crucial.

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Posted : 11/07/2020 5:06 pm
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

good point. how old are the kids?

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Posted : 11/07/2020 5:55 pm
warwickshire1
(@warwickshire1)
Honorable Member Registered

I think she needs to put children 1st and do what u are requesting school wise. Other option is she goes to new school and you dont help her and let her learn the hard way. Family courts should side with you as its unreasonable what she is expecting you to do anyway

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Posted : 11/07/2020 9:34 pm
Daddyup
(@Daddyup)
Honorable Member Registered

Agree with Warwickshire. Would it be worthwhile explaining this to her?that if child goes to school that ex is wanting then you wont be able to cover and establish whether she can?

If she believes that you wont support then maybe she will back down?

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Posted : 12/07/2020 4:40 am
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