Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello
I’m so sorry for what you are going through. Obviously can’t know all of the circumstances. Just trying to think of anything that may help you. I certainly don’t mean to disrespect you in any way.
my Grandson (when he was younger) would never play with his own dad, if he tried to join in, he would scream no not you! After weeks of this and us asking him why, he finally spoke to me saying, mommy said daddy naughty, don’t play with daddy. Gave us something to work with, we spent time telling him how nice daddy was and how much he loved him. Didn’t take long for things to change.
is there another family member that your daughter could spend time with.
Hello everyone thanks for the replys
Thought give an update
Since my last post I don't see my oldest anymore. It got to the point she would meet me slag me off saying mum said this and that and I'm wrong and even if I said look at this she would deny the fact of proof. I no she's a kid so sorta accepted it.
Since then I spoke weekly phone calls ect till mum messaged saying I'm not allowed anymore then funny enough my daughter said she didn't want to any more
So non exists now I sorta have accepted it and at peace with it for now but on another note
I had this issue before we live 10 miles from my ex and all my family and my past where I use to live so we never go that way as I find it so awkward which causes alot of issues with my personal life as we are really restricted. Incase be bump in to eachother.
We've been offered move of house before many times but I've always been reluctant as I have memories were we live. Not good ones mainly bad but u get attached but you feel like you can never be yourself anymore.
Main issue is my 6yo is in school and have friends and even though the school has been pretty [censored] you can't help feeling bad because she's happy and you'd be taking her away from it due to our personal mental health.
Moving we would be happier as we would be relaxed but on the other side we feel it's unfair on our child.
Can anyone else help with advise
Hi
I can't really advise on whether to move area and schools but my thoughts are as below..
If you are going to do the move now would be the best time.. Your child is still early into schooling/education, still at the development stage and therefore will take to a new environment, school easily.. In a year or 2 this will become much difficult, more so if your mental health worsens over the next 2 years and you are wanting to move just at a time your child has built strong relationships at school as an 8 or 9 yo..
Good mental health for you will positively impact on your child and family whilst the reverse is also true.. In your shoes if I had the option to move then when child is young would be best time to do it..
The next suitable time will potentially be just before child goes to high school, can you cope until then?
Re your mental health, if you do decide to stay where you are, maybe see a counsellor, look at the support network around you etc..
All the best..
@Daddyup hello thankyou for the reply sorry its taken so long to reply
Basically since last time the previous house fell through so we decided to stay nut recently another house has came up. They like ours we like there and a high ish chance it could happen
We viewed and its rural ish no crime big grass back garden pretty nice to be honest our current house has a concrete small garden which we never use atall as it's dangerous.
Main issue is now there a chance it could happen I find myself clinging onto memories around here stupid little things but also things like my daughters friends our walks we've done together basically loads of stuff I'd never normally care about.
We don't have any family atall regardless where we live but we're familiar with people here I suppose to the point u no where u stand and we have 1 close friend
I just don't know what's best tbh anything that happens I'll sorta regret regardless but it seems ever since we moved here so much happend kid in care ect that it's always been tainted and even npw we don't visit surrounding areas as I always bump into my oldest and ex who kick off so we drive far and we're never relaxed.
Even where we live my ex visits so it's sorta a shitty situation but I feel so guilty about moving.
Is that normal
Children make friends very quickly so I don't think you need to worry about that. You could talk positively to your daughter about the move being an adventure. If staying where you are is bad for your mental health then that should be your priority. If your mental health deteriorates, that will adversely affect your daughter. You could try NHS talking therapy - you can google it but will also see website where you pay for counselling. A chat with a trained counsellor could help you sort out your thoughts and worries.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
