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Hello
I currently have my daughter every Friday until 6:30pm and every other week-end until 6pm and 3 weeks holiday through out the year. Managed to get this access through court just over 3 years ago and it was messy.
Before then I was allowed regular contact with my daughter who is now 6 all be it subject to her mothers games. Yet one day I came to collect my daughter and was refused access as my ex had accused me of hitting my daughter, as a result had to see my daughter in a contact center and gather "evidence" for court. The report written by the contact center was a glowing report and that I have a very good relationship with my daughter and the outcome was in my favor and I was granted the access time.
Now that my daughter is a bit older and settled in school I would like to go for 50/50 contact and custody. I only live 20minutes away from the mother and 10 minutes away from the school. My daughter is regularly asking for extra time with me and my partner.
Do you think I will be granted 50/50??
I know I'm not going to be able to do it amicably with her mother so I think court will be the only way again.
How often do father's get granted 50/50?
Cheers Tom.
Hi Tom525 and welcome to the forum,
I would argue you that there are a number of factors which you and the court would need to consider and two ways you could go about it - either amending the current contact order or applying for 'shared residence'.
Shared residence is where it is recognised that a child has two homes with both parents sharing equal responsibility for their child - this does not necessarily imply that the child must spend an equal amount of time in either and contact, CSA, etc. would remain a seperate issue. Often this can be a good way for both parents to recognise the other as a valuable part of their child's life, show mutual respect, etc. and studies have even shown that it can lead to improved relationships between the parents (maybe not from what you have said) as well as impacting less on the child(ren) involved - it used to be rare but is becoming increasingly common.
The other would be to apply to amend the current contact order (which I know less about) but I can imagine that the court would need to know why you feel the need to amend it (particularly if the current one is working well), what impact this would likely have on your daughter's routine and wellbeing (particularly if she is settled in school and doing well), asses your ability to meet with her current emotional and educational needs (i.e. will you be able to get her to school on time and fulfill any other commitments, e.g. friend's birthdays, hobbies, etc.).
I'm not saying it's impossible and I would be happy to help in any way if you feel it's in your daughter's best interests - I do feel it may be more difficult to amend a current situation after three years than it would have been to achieve this scenario in the first place. I appreciate this may not have been possible and clearly I don't know the facts of the case. Did you act with a solicitor previously? If you do not currently have one instructed then you can speak to the Coram Childrens Legal Centre for free and they will be able to offer far greater insight than me!
I agree with Isdad - you are in a position where you are getting a reasonable level of contact, and going for shared custody is a step that the courts won't take too lightly. The real problem you face is that as soon as you start any legal action, your ex is likely to dig her heels in, and you could find your existing contact restricted (not uncommon) while the proceedings take place, and if she takes her time and slows the proceedings down, plus throws in false accusations, you could be taking a backwards step.
I would say that you should consider trying to negotiate with your ex for small increases in your existing level of contact, and if she is unwilling to negotiate directly, tell her you'd like to try mediation.
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