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Good morning, I would really appreciate your advice.
I have attended mediation, after my wife's 8 month affair, where finance and access arrangements were agreed.
I have kept to the finance part, but my ex hasn't kept to the access section, its now been 10 weeks since if seen my 3 boys on my agreed, every other weekend fri-sun.
She insists the only way I will see them is if I go home to her, this is not an option for me now, due to her affair, albeit it, I did go back in the early stages to sort things out, but she carried on with her affair.
She is also refusing to acknowledge her service for my petition for divorce, based on her not being able to afford a solicitor. As I give her £400 a month, this isn't really the case tbh. (in my opinion).
She has also tried the "he abuses me" line to receive funding - which isn't the case I hasten to add. (Strange she wants me to come home also, if this was indeed the case)
1. I have limited funds, if she refuses to sign the court paperwork for divorce, would the 5 year non consent route be the better approach? - the petition has just gone to court.
2. Based on the fact she isn't responding to solicitors at the moment, how do I force access to my boys, without causing distress to them, I have stopped attending the home address to discuss this now, as it turns into a scene from eastenders which isn't contributing to happy memories for the children. I am also conscious this could be seen as intimidation.
3 Any further help/advise would also be appreciated. Unfortunately, it seems my ex is making a sport out of this situation and I need as much help as I can.
Many, Many Thanks.
I was divorced a couple of years ago. I did not have kids at the time so cant advise on that, (I have a child since with someone else!)
Your Point:- She is also refusing to acknowledge her service for my petition for divorce,
What the law says:- Respondent cannot stop the divorce simply by not returning the Acknowledgment of Service. If he/she does not do so within a reasonable time scale what is likely to happen is that another copy of the petition will be served personally by a court bailiff or the petitioner's solicitor or there may be alternative methods of service. If this happens it will inevitably incur extra costs which the Respondent will almost certainly be asked (or made) to pay.
1. I have limited funds, if she refuses to sign the court paperwork for divorce, would the 5 year non consent route be the better approach? - the petition has just gone to court
From memory, the costs remain the same. I could well be wrong here. but either way it's best to get legal advice, be it now of in 5 years.
2. Based on the fact she isn't responding to solicitors at the moment, how do I force access to my boys, without causing distress to them, I have stopped attending the home address to discuss this now, as it turns into a scene from eastenders which isn't contributing to happy memories for the children. I am also conscious this could be seen as intimidation
I'm in a similer position as you at the moment. I hate to go to my ex's house in fear of problems and arguments. I have spent all day reading on what to do. Simple answers I've seen today all seem to say
1) Mediation --> it may or may not work
2) Contact order at a cost of around £200 if you represent yourself. You need (I think) a C100 form for this.
I hope this helps, i'm new at all this stuff with kids so that area may not be right 100% but a divorce I've had and I know that from experience!
John
Good advice above - I'd just add that there are some sticky posts at the top of the legal eagle section, also a video, on representing yourself, which are well worth a look.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
