I attended an FHDRA hearing today where I was hoping to walk out with an arrangement for interim contact with my son during court proceedings. She had however made allegations to the police in the meantime that I had physically assaulted her children, so the civil proceedings cannot continue until the police have finished their enquiries, which could take months.
The whole case is predicated on total lies, she has accused me of every form of domestic abuse imaginable and when none of it stuck she has upped her game and decided to accuse me of assaulting her kids. She brought two children into the relationship who I was kind enough to treat as though they were my own, we later had a third between us which she is preventing me from seeing.
Can anyone tell me what I should expect from this? Will I be questioned by police? will I be arrested? This is like a nightmare, everyone in the social services/justice system assumes that she is a perfect mother when in fact she was the abusive party in the relationship and never lifted a finger for the kids leaving it all to me.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
It might be worth getting professional legal advice because there is a criminal investigation, and you may be entitled to legal aid in that regard, you'd need to check.
I would suggest that you ask the court for supervised contact at a contact centre in the meantime, that is better than no contact at all, and will be harder for her to argue against.
I recently went for a voluntary police interview in relation to allegations made 3 months ago.my was of hitting kids.best advice contact local Solictor’s look for one with good reviews and if you get asked to do interview then you got some support in that area it is free.main thing you haven’t been arrested as yet so that’s good sign.don’t worry too much it’s sign she’s desperate and clutching at straws so will throw anything at you to delay contact keep positive bud
When is your next family court hearing? There isnt anything to suggest there is a police investigation unless they have actually contacted you . If they do make sure you arrange for a duty solicitor to meet you at police station or look up one beforehand local in your area that coveers legal aid at police station as everyone is entitled to a duty solicitor for free. If you was to be interviewed it would potentially delay matters depending on what action police take at the time. Nothing may happen yet and nobody knows if your ex has contacted them or what she has said. When children involved they nearly always act straight away and dont just leave it
Thanks everyone for your replies. She has definitely made a report to the police because it was used as a reason in court for the proceeding not going ahead. Next one is in about a month but the judge did not seem confident that the police would have finished investigating it by then. I have spoken to a good solicitor who will be aiding me if I need to speak with the police. Just got to wait now until they decide that they want to speak to me.
Until then I am barred from seeing my son. It is quite incredible to me that during this process the stance seems to be that she is assumed to be safe to take care of my son while I am assumed not to be. She is a disgusting abusive layabout who didn't lift a finger for the kids throughout the relationship leaving it all to me. Yet my son is stuck in her home enduring god only knows what.
She was the one who used to beat her eldest son, I haven't reported it to the police but maybe I should... I was just going to raise it in the civil courts but maybe the police should be told as well?
@warwickshire1 I had to wait 3months to be offered to do voluntary police interview in relation to allegations she made regarding me supposedly hurting the kids.maybe so long cause when something doesn’t happen can’t provide evidence
@danb I contacted the police 2/3 times once I knew of them having a report that pushed them along into then sending letter to go for voluntary interview and I booked it in straight away as delay only plays in to the ex hands and prolongs the no contact with the kids so if you got details of where the report was made contact that police station to get something rolling otherwise could be waiting months
I guess they would have acted straight away if there was evidence but like you say, it's difficult to find evidence of something that hasn't happened. I have already contacted the force that took the complaint, gave them my address and phone number and said I'm here if you want to speak to me. I guess I'm stuck waiting three months then. Just looking forward to the fact find where she will have to explain all the lies she has told, bullshit only takes you so far.
@danb From what i read so far its unlikely police are going to speak to you. You are doing a find a fact hearing in family court instead . This is where the family courts determine where something is more than likely happened than not i.e 51/49 %. If it dont go your way dont mean you will be prosecuted . There will just be huge implications on seeing your children. From what u described judge couldnt order any contact only due to your ex making allegations which were serious enough to make it impossible for him to order any form of contact, but you have a hearing in a months time. She will need to provide evidence and when it comes to allegations regarding children police have to act almost immediately unless they determine allegations are unfounded from start or malicious