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Anyone share experience of DAPP assessment plz?

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Daddyup
(@Daddyup)
Honorable Member Registered

@reg-perrin how are you finding the course? In relation to an interim order, you would need to wait until you are half way through the course and an interim report is produced by whoever is leading on the course. The mother probably knows this which is why contact has been restricted (if asked she will probably say contact will be dependent on how you get on with the course) My suggestion would be to focus on getting to the half way point. In the meantime I would find out when this report will be produced for you and speak to CAFCASS so that instead of Nov when you finish the course I assume, the hearing is rescheduled to Aug/Sept (ish).. Appreciate this doesn't help with the summer but considering Cafcass want to push to when you finish the course, it is a good compromise. Even if you make contact with the court and the hearing goes ahead they will be guided by Cafcass and the above is generally the rule/process re anyone doing Dapp and therefore negotiating with Cafcass with a positive focus on how well you are doing on the course may be the best bet. 

I think you run the risk of undoing things if you push for interim based on previous recommendations and child's wishes when you aren't half way through the course and thus potentially deemed a risk until the course is completed (appreciate that the thread has already discussed this)...

 

You also have to remember that once you finish the course the mother no longer holds the upper hand providing you get an excellent report, and that you give no examples of concern to mother or Cafcass in anything else that you say or do. Therefore if half way through the course you secure interim contact even if it is a progressive schedule, once the course is completed you can move to your expected contact and the mother will have few if any options to frustrate contact any further. 

 

My response may not be what you are looking for but hopefully it helps. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 16/06/2021 8:27 pm
reg perrin
(@reg-perrin)
Eminent Member Registered

As i do not drive i had a 5 hour trip to reach the assessment in Essex. The team there were very professional and treated me very well. I managed to explain the benefits of me taking part in the course and was allowed to discuss with them the difficulties i had/have experienced during and after the relationship with mother in relation to our son.

Following assessment there was much delay as caff demand all participants are to attend face to face groups. In my case attendance was impossible due to logistics and my not driving. Time to get to the course from work on public transport was impossible and so caff senior management agreed to allow me to take part in the weekly sessions 1-2-1 on line.

Again, the assessment team I feel really supported me in explaining how i could not physical attend a group.

My tutor is very good. The course is pretty basic so far but as I am a group facilitator around Basic CBT skills at work so  not much has been new for me yet.

  I have been able to voice my opinions rightly or wrongly of why i am on the course safe in the knowledge I will not be kicked off as i have demonstrated why I wish to do the course and my part in previous behaviors both mother and I have been guilty of. 

Yes it is upsetting to go over old ground but on the plus it has shown me how far i have come these last few years. I generally do feel I will benefit form the course experience.

As i said before I will try to put together something explaining the assessment more in detail and also the course but I feel it best i wait until i have finished.

In way of the July hearing being cancelled i am obliviously disappointed especially as the respondent mother agreed for me to have child all over XMAS and half of Easter. She then asked for our son to be with her on Mothering Sunday which I agreed even though it was my weekend and then she pulled the rug on May half term and the summer three weeks. Contact has already been in place and I will still have our boy for a week in the summer. She apparently has agreed for child to be with me this Sunday being fathers day and it is not my weekend so she is just picking and choosing what part of caff recommendations she wants.

Mother continues to play games. The latest is her not packing a full school uniform ( son has PE on a Friday and so wares PE on that day ) which has happened twice recently despite my purchasing 2 school uniforms on top of what he already has but to tell the truth this petty games she plays does not bother me anymore. There was a time I would react to such pettiness but like I said Ive grown.

I appreciate what you have said and it has again helped me process and get my mind set on the end goal and not to dwell too much on what is lost today. November isn't far off after all and I am confident my report from attending the course will be a good one.

 

 

Thanks again

Reg

 

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 16/06/2021 11:16 pm

Daddyup
(@Daddyup)
Honorable Member Registered

The course is very much CBT based and therefore a lot of the learning is similar across various courses.

Its positive to focus on the end goal, keep in mind my suggestion re contact after the interim report as this will get the ball rolling and account for any delays at court once you finish the course (if you have an interim contact order once half way then its easier/quicker to progress to the contact you want once the course finishes and final report is drafted) . Its great that you might be getting some contact including this weekend even if mother is picking and choosing as this highlights she feels you are not a risk and aids your case for when you finish the course..

 

All the best. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 16/06/2021 11:35 pm
reg perrin
(@reg-perrin)
Eminent Member Registered

So i was due in court in July following my assessment for the DAPP - which is now called " caring fathers "

Caff cass asked the court to suspend the hearing in July and postpone the next hearing until November when i would have completed the course.

As i have said above, mother agreed to all of the section 7 recommendations in court but then u-turned after the last hearing in march, preventing me and my son to see each other for extended weeks in the summer holidays and refusing to share school holidays equally.Her legal knew the hearing in June would be suspended and so i have learnt my lesson and am sharing so if others who self represent ever get into the same situation be prepared for dirty tactics such as these.

I contacted caf cass on receipt of their letter to the court - at first i was surprised as she agreed with me and said she would negotiate with mother to see if a compromise could be reached only then to receive a patronizing email from her which basically told me to lump it. She made no effort to ask the court for the hearing in July to resume and ignored my breakdown of her section 7 report which clearly indicates her recommendations for contact were to be held whilst i take part in the DAPP course.

She ignored my request for a half way hearing which I was sure should be held.

I was also ignored by the courts in my pointing out why the hearing should resume.

All sights are now on November and getting the contact which caff recommended. Most importantly what my son asked for when he was interviewed in the section 7 - three wishes he was offered and all three wishes he replied were " to see my Dad more often."

My fears are they will side with mother and refuse extra contact despite my doing everything that has been asked of me.

 

 

 

 

 

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 01/08/2021 8:30 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

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