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C100 submitted... due to actively excluding me from important matters. Ex is highly unlikely to agree to 50/50 split. Do i use solicitors?

Eminent Member Registered

Hi all, 


I've submitted a c100 and completed a miam as my ex has caused so many issues i.e. lying to schools, not telling me about important dates/events/kids illnesses.  So the MIAM has recommended court and asking to move from 2 nights per week and 50/50 hols, to 50/50 split throughout year.

I know the ex will decline this and become difficult as she has a history of lying to CMS/school/parents etc.
My query is... i've had a quote from solicitors for representation who estimate 5-10k and then up to 6k for court..... and in this situation the likelihood is the ex will be difficult and drag it on for as long as she is able.


The problems I have with her (why I put in c100) are none-tangible issues like lying, or mis-informing (I have evidence via txt and email) and its causing issue with kids now..... I want to go down the best route, but spending £15k+ is not going to benefit anyone if nothing changes except I'll have put myself in a financial bind.


Any thoughts would be great.... the main complication is that the ex doesn't drink, doesn't smoke and there is no obvious issue, but peel away a layer of the public facing good mum and you find she still shares bed with 10 year old and 8 year old, she still allows 8yr old to wee but lies to me about it, she hides illnesses and also won't force medication when its needed (my 10 yr old was hospitalised and she refused to give medicine as she didn't want to upset 10 yr old) and a whole host of other minor but impactful issues.


Speaking to 2 solicitors I don't know what they can do aside strategy and experience in how to phrase things that will help the process?  If she declines,(which she will), then unless cafcass finds something, I am assuming nothing changes.

In terms of check box ticking, I have a better quality of care here, but I was told that the courts always side with current parent unless something is wrong with current parent care.


any thoughts?





Topic starter Posted : 18/04/2023 1:46 pm
Illustrious Member


I know a dad that spent his life savings (50k) on lawyers to gain 50/50. Would suggest you Don't go down that path unless you have deep pockets. What will be crucial is if CAFCASS support your application for 50/50. If they support you, then judges will follow their recommendations majority of the time. With right guidance you you can self-represent.

Posted : 18/04/2023 3:30 pm

Honorable Member

The website has helpful guides on the process and also representing yourself in court.  You might only need a solicitor for certain parts and some you could do yourself

Posted : 19/04/2023 9:55 am

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