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I got the court ball rolling! The judge said it was urgent, he was very concerned and there'd be a hearing in four weeks, in which time CAFCASS would investigate.
Had the letter today and the first hearing isn't until the start of October! Also CAFCASS are only doing a phone interview with us both at this point? My worries -
1, can I phone the court and explain the hearing needs to be sooner? It's supposed to be urgent!
2, Any pointers for the phone interview? I'm very nervous as I do far better in person than on the phone. How much information do they need? I have it all in a word document, shall I offer to email/post them that? I have a tendency to ramble on and I'm worried about doing so! Will they speak to my wife too or just me? If I phone them, can I make an appointment time for them to ring or am I destined to jump every time the phone rings for the next few weeks?
3, I'm worried that the things I say on the phone, ex will find out about at the hearing in October and make things more difficult for my son. It's some pretty serious things and she will not react well.
4, How much do they look into police/social services records? I do have quite a few offenses on my record, all from my teens and years before my son was born. Will they look badly on them or accept that I was a toe rag in my youth and focus on that it was all juvenile and nothing since? Will they be worried that Ex has had social services involvement several times in the last few years when I have had none?
5, I'm still very concerned about my sons welfare, social services have decided not to look into it again - despite not seeing my son or ex - only speaking to her on the phone! I asked social worker to come out and speak to him, hear it all first hand and she refused. They've put it down as us dragging social services into a fight over who my son lives with, which is not the case! Do I carry on flogging a dead horse and making social services reports as and when my son tells me what's happening or do I just save it all for CAFCASS now? I don't think social services are going to change their minds and I don't want to speak to them again, they haven't protected my son all these years.
6. I've read some pointers about the phone interview.. particularly outline how I'd like it to be (in sons best interests) and what I'm worried about happening if court falls through. Of course all I want in the world is for him to have a mother who loves him, looks after him and doesn't treat him the way she does but she has proven over the years this isn't the case. In light of this, I firmly believe he needs to live with me and have supervised access with her. I know this is a push but I don't want him left on his own with her! I don't know how to get this across to CAFCASS without them hearing "I want him to have both of his parents" and running with that - or thinking this is just about having him lift with me.
7, I'm worried that social services refusing to investigate is going to play a big part in CAFCASS's recommendation. From everyone, all the organisations I've spoken to, I know that social services have had enough through the years to at least place him in my care while investigating her properly. One poor woman at the nspcc actually swore in dismay when I phoned her back to update her that social services had done nothing with the 'serious' report she'd sent through to them!
Hi MarkieMark,
Here is my 2 cents.....
1, If you have such concerns why do you not ask for "leave to abridge service". It will invlve you going to the court with a letter from yourself explaining why the case needs to be heard sooner. If you can convince the judge they will have you seen at the very next session. In my area every 2 weeks. It may be that the session 4 weeks away is the very next session in your area.
2, Your lucky to get a phone interview. I saw a CAFCASS officer for about 7 minutes on the day of court and they wrote theyre recommendations based on that . I cant see an issue with calling them and arranging an interview although you will get the speel on how busy they are. In any event compose a list of your concerns which you can refer to on the telephone or at in interview and use itto keep yourself on trsck and so as not to forget everything. Keep from criticising your ex and present your concerns in a factual manner and provide evidence where possible. Last occurances and and where relevant copies of texts and mails. They will speak to your ex as well.
3, Youe ex will find out I am sure what is said and unfortunately is most likely to make things difficult. Document and record everything. You do have a diary dont you? Record everything mate.
4, SS will perform searches into police and social services records. You may wish to perfrom a CRB check on yourself or a subject matter access via the police. This will show you what is on record. Anything from your youth should be disregarded by them and put down to the folly of youth....should. If your ex jas been naughty this will also be seen by SS on any checks on her.
5, In my opinion you have to keep reporting your concerns and where you do not recieve the service you expect then escalate in SS and report everything to CAFCASS. You are the concerned Father and should remain so and be seen as such.
6. You present your concerns over his welfare and care, now and future, to CAFCASS. Are you going for sole residency, sounds like you are. If so then prepare for a long bumpy ride as yours will be a contested hearing but do not be discouraged. Keep collecting the evidence and illustrating your a concerned Father. Following your next court hearing the judge may request a section 7 report which will involve SS or CAFCSS inerviewing you and your child in person. This is further opportunity to put your points across.
7, I see what you mean. Have you complained to SS and asked that your concerns be looked at by management? CAFCASS may be an opportunity for a fresh pair of eyes to your concerns. Maybe not but I hope so. Give CAFCASS copies of your NSPCC report. Ring the bells and escalate at every opportunity.
Just my 2 cents and Im exhausted so appologies for spelling mistakes. My ex has refused contact for the second time this week and its getting me down.
Im sure others will add to this with other opinions which is always good.
Ill let our big hitters respond now. 🙂 I just wanted you to have something as I know how lonely it can be waiting when you want answers.. 🙂
Regards,
Dave
Hi. MarkieMark 🙂
If the judge said it was urgent, he was very concerned and wanted the hearing within 4 weeks then I think you should telephone the court office and talk to them about it. They usually act on the judges wishes so it might be an oversight. If they won't listen then write to the judge in question and tell him what has happened.
It's quite usual for CAFCASS to conduct their interview over the phone.
1. Yes you can!
2. Prepare yourself, have a list of things that you would like to talk about. They will ask you about past convictions, just be honest about it and try not to be defensive. CAFCASS will contact the various agencies such as Social Services, the Police and ask for any information they might have about you both so it in your interests to be open with them and volunteer the information. Whatever is in your past, we are all capable of change. You can offer to send them the documented information. They won't want to speak to your wife. ....you could try calling them to try and arrange a time to suit.
3. What you tell them will be written into the report, you could explain your concerns for your son and the repercussions for him if his mother finds out he has been telling you things.
4. If your offences were all juvenile then although they will be documented they are not current....just tell them you are a different person now. They will look into both of your backgrounds and if they think there are safeguarding issues they will write them in the report.
5. If there are issues then I think you should continue to,share the information with the SS, evn if they are not interested you can ask them politely to document your concerns and put them on file as you would like a record to be kept of your concerns. Be careful how you talk about the SS to CAFCASS....the CAFCASS officer will probably have worked as a Social Worker before being appointed to the court position.
6. I wouldn't talk about what might happen if court falls through. Just concentrate on the reasons he will be better placed with you. What you can provide for him that he isn't getting with his mother, but don't bad mouth her to them! Having both parents in a child's life is what's best for them but not if it's detrimental to their well being.
7. There's no reason why you can't talk about your frustration, perhaps you can put it in the perspective of the confusion and mixed messages....the NSPCC telling you one thing and the SS another, the judge talking about being very concerned and wanting an urgent hearing and them having to wait. Try writing down what you want to say, think about the questions you would ask if you were CAFCASS and write down your responses. Preparation is key here.
We were both typing away oblivious of each other and we've both said pretty much the same thing Dave!
You speak from the heart Dave, and you care....you can't get more eloquent than that!
Basically if the Judge says its urgent, ring the Court and tell them that he wanted it listed within 4 weeks. The Court don't always see that part I think when listing it..I have often had to ring a Court for the same reason, and it has been re-listed
Both NJ and DaveR have given you great advice on the rest of it so I wont duplicate it but.., continue to raise your concerns and don't let SS get away with not doing anything! 🙂
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