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Hi,
My ex has eventually decided that she wants to do mediation but the problem is now that I can't afford it, she gets it free, i work full time but have been off work with a blood clot in my leg so my wages have been dramatically decreased as i dont get sickpay but i still dont qualify for free, anything!
I cannot afford a solicitor to reply to her solicitor letters so me and my partner have been trying to reply as best we can. we did approach mediation over a year ago when we were better off but at the time my ex was being too nasty and manipulating my son so i couldnt bear to be in the same room as her (although i tried at cafcass).
is it reasonable to say that we cant afford it and we will meet her on neutral ground to try and discuss things? she has been offered this several times before but all we have got it derogatory texts for hours on end. Also she seems to have a problem with my fiancee and has stated that she doesnt wasnt her included in this but my fiancee has brought up my son with me whilst my ex was "absent" and she has been more of a mother to him, so i am not willing to budge on this and my fiancee will be included in everything. i have also offered for her boyfriend to come along to the discussion as well.
What are people views on this? Am I being unreasonable? if she doesnt agree to this then she said she would go to court, which doesnt really bother me, but will the court understand my situation?
Any comments gratefully received!
Hi fedup,
Sorry to hear about your situation. I will pass your query on to the Childrens Legal Centre - their response may take a few days so hang in there mate.
Gooner
Fedup,
Just thought I would give you an update. The Children's Legal Centre is currently swamped with queries so a response to your question will take slightly longer than normal. I'm afraid it will be next week before you receive a response - if you would like a quicker response try calling their helpline on 08088 020 008.
If you do call them please let us know the outcome as it may help other DadTalkers.
Thanks
Gooner.
Dear Sir
It is unclear from your post what the issues are between you and your ex-partner that you need to resolve in mediation.
We always suggest mediation as a first option prior to court proceedings. If you have not done so already we would recommend telephoning National Family Mediation on 01392 271610 for further information. Generally it would be expected that only parents attend the mediation session to discuss issues in relation to a child however this can vary depending upon the individual situation.
It is possible to arrange informal mediation with a family member or mutual friend however as with any form of mediation, both parties must be in agreement for this to go ahead. If you would like further advice relating to court proceedings then we would suggest that you contact us directly on 08088 020 008 as it is not possible to advise without providing further information.
If you cannot afford a solicitor then it is advisable to respond to solicitor’s correspondence yourself to attempt to come to an agreement regarding your son. If the matter does proceed to court then it is possible to represent yourself, this is called acting as a litigant in person. For more information on how to act for yourself then it may be beneficial to contact Families Need Fathers ( www.fnf.org.uk ).
We hope this information has been useful and please call us directly for further advice.
Kind regards
Children’s Legal Centre
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
