[Solved] Contact Order

Hi teresa,

Sorry to hear that this can't be sorted amicably. I will pass this on to our legal partners the Childrens Legal Centre - a reply may take a couple of days so keep checking back.

Gooner

teresa,

I was taken to court by my ex for a contact order

❓ Did you ex have access to the children before the contact order or did he have to go to court to be able to see his children ?

He had 100% unlimited contact but didnt want it , made everything very difficult including physically attacking me and my car. after months and months of it I took the very hard descion to stop contact. This was after him saying that he would only return the children to me in a car park if i was alone ( it would be dark) and various other ridiculous things that threatened my safety.
I was devastated when I had to stop contact... but I really didnt have a choice.

The contact that is specified in the order is far less than i wanted him to have...but he didnt want it... Its states phone contact at any time - he has never called accept on their birthdays. Its states that he should see the children on their birthdays - he never has. This year he has reduced the amount of time he spends with the children by three weekends, 3 nights at Easter and 7 nights in the Summer. When I have asked him why he says he is busy and 'does not care' about the child care costs it incures me nor the inconvience. For me - having the children is not an inconvience - it is a joy.

So in answer to the question - yes there is a contact order that he applied for.

Can I just say that if he wanted TWO weekends to make up for the one that is Mothering Sunday - I'd agree.

Please see both sides/ angles to this .... what sort of mother would I be if I didnt want the children with me on this special weekend?

teresa,

Just trying to understand the situation- not judging you in any way.

I would imagine that your kids would like to be home for Mothers Day as well - its not about him.

Personally from a legal position I can't give you any advice but as a dad, I think he's being a bit of a prat.

I think you'll find that most dadtalkers will see both sides of the story as we are a fair minded lot on the whole. 😉

Teresa,

Hi sorry just thought i would give you an update. The Children's Legal Centre is currently swamped with queries so a response to your question will take slightly longer than normal. I'm afraid it will be next week before you receive a response - if you would like a quicker response try calling their help line on 08088 020 008.

If you do call them please let us know the outcome as it may help other DadTalkers.

Thanks

Gooner.

hi teresa im sorry 4 all that he has put you through he sounds like a selfish person,
hi i am jo my partner is going through a bad time with his ex stopping us from seeing her she is only 5 and very impretionalble in our case too many of his family have butted there noses in our business.his ex stops us seeing her when ever she cant get what she wants. i went out ov my way every tuesday to give her child maintence and pick her up every other friday take her on the sat eve,take her to get her hair cut cus she dont do it, i have 4 children myself so i have my hand full anyway but i do it because i love her to bits,it seems the more we do the she wants,i mean we asked her to pick up her daughter only once and it turned into a row her calling us lasy and that it is our job to take her home.my partners mum amd sis look after her alot of the time so its not as if she has her all the time. some men try all they can and get no where then you get the others that just dont seem too care about there childrens developement into adult hood it a shame the only one that really suffer are the kids who dident even ask to be brought it this world. i dont think that my partners ex know what she has got a really gd thing.

how would we go about applying for a court order and does it work out i dont think she will be willing to do mediation she is too not understanding to do that.

Dear Teresa,

We apologise for the delay in responding to your query.

As contact is stated in the court order for the weekend of Mothering Sunday, the father has the right to have the children on that weekend, and although he can choose to be reasonable and negotiate this with you, he does not have to.

It is advisable that if you and your ex partner can not agree to altering the ordered contact that you do send your children, as otherwise he would have the ability to take the matter to court stating that you have breached the court order and there is a possibility that you may be penalised for this.

You do have the option of making an application to court yourself for variation of the order; however it is possible that even if you applied immediately this would not be heard in time, and taking the matter back to court should be a last resort.

It is also possible that the court would not alter the contact that is already in the order, as it is likely that you will have the children on dates that are important to the father also, and it is not always reasonable to make special provisions for every special date throughout the year, although Christmas is usually provided for separately within the order.

It may be best for you to attempt to continue to negotiate this matter with your ex partner, in writing if possible so it can be proven that any alteration that takes place is agreed should the father later decide to claim this as a breach of the order.

We hope that this information is useful to you, should you have any questions or require further advice, please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help you.

Kind Regards

Children’s Legal Centre