I am awaiting as section 7 report. Ex and I have made domestic violence claims against each other but as the mother cut contact our child lives with her and now I have limited contact from 3 days a week to 1 hour in a contact center each week. Ex is a pathological liar and highly manipulative. At the next hearing we have a legal advisor and no magistrates or judge. I can guarantee we will not be in agreeance as we both want to be primary carer. I have been told by multiple people I have no chance because I am male. I do not believe it and will not give up as our child is emotionally abused by her mother on regular basis but impossible to prove. I have ran out of money and do not qualify for legal aid. What directions of the court can I propose at my next hearing? Can I write a proposal for an interim hearing so a magistrate/judge can step up the contact. Our child wants to live with me but no one believes it. It was even said that "I want to stay with you daddy" in the contact center but the contact center supervisor was chatting to the trainee supervisor and missed it. I am desperate to protect our child. Have their been many cases where men have obtained at least 50% access where their ex is highly hostile?
hi,
when will section 7 report come out and will it be out in time for next hearing? also how old is child?
There are guides on the advicenow.org.uk website dealing with child arrangements and representing yourself in court. There may be some helpful information there
I recommend you doing the following.
- You should write your argument in a proposed "position statement".
- In your position statement, say you've had contact in the past and there haven't been any problems (if this is the case). Has it all gone Pete Tong since child arrangements order has been put forward? Then this would be red flag for the court.
- highlight the importance of your child having a relationship with their father.
- try and move away from allegations - this only makes it worse. focus on the child and your parenting, not your relationship with ex.
- you need to show some willingness to compromise and co-parent. Showing the court you both can't agree will just make you look bad. Suggest something reasonable. Remember to put your child's needs first. The court will likely prefer that you reintroduce contact and build it up to a more 50/50. They are very unlikely to change residency unless you can prove safeguarding issues. You might be better off going 50/50.
- I recommend asking the case to be escalated to a District Judge, you don't want this heard by a legal adviser or magistrates. No one knows the law like a judge and they are more likely to understand the importance of fathers having access.
- has the court ordered a section 7 feelings and wishes report? then you will need to wait for this. in the meantime, ask for your sessions with in the contact centre to be recorded.
- In regards to fathers receiving 50% access with hostile exes. It's hard, because they toxic miserable ex's will throw all the mud they can.
But if you can prove you are child-centric, dismiss any safeguarding concerns and your son says he wants to stay with you.....then it's possible.
Just remember it's a long game.
Hold in there.
@felix5 This is amazing advice and I really appreciate it. What grounds can the case be escalated to a district judge? Some potential complexieties include:
- Mother restricting access for financial gain (can't really say much about it otherwise fingers end up getting pointed at me)
- Mixed race child; religion, cultural identity and large paternal family (mother trying her best to alienate my family from her)
- Mild breeches by mother (not letting us celebrate a religious festival on the day as per contact order and mother not sending weekly photographs/updates as agreed)
- Specific order of school (current pre-school is in a deprived area, poor educational outcomes but close proximity to mother and her family). Polar opposite for my situation; moved here for excellent schooling, cultural diverse area and close proximity of house to former matriomonal home
- Poor standing of living with mother (mother lives with her family but child has her own bedroom)
Are any of these factors in your experience been helpful? Mother is highly manipulative and high conflict but i'm side-stepping the conflict. At the moment i'm in a contact center due to false allegations but should be freed next month. Prior to sudden cessation of direct contact several months ago I was seeing our child 2-3 days a week with no problems except 1 dispute over mother keep changing the days to suit her and then stopped contact.