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Can somebody help me please.
I have been divorced for 4 years. I am now unemployed after 27 years of work, living with my mother after 30 years of renting or owning my own home.
I am doing everything I can to sort out the above but there is one thing I am banging my head against a brick wall with.
After a very messy divorce that was very painful for both sides I ended up with fortnightly access to my two sons picking them up at 10am on Saturday and bringing back at 1.00pm on Sunday. I wanted more on a fortnightly basis but it didn't happen. I also have them for an extra day during holidays but two weeks during the summer holidays.
I asked the judge at the hearing for a review after a year but he said that tempers should and would calm down and that both of us would become more flexible in time - This has not happened.
My ex wife has no flexibility whatsoever on the court order. I have tried to swap weekends so that my sons can go to relatives birthdays, I have asked for a little extra time so that they could do something special this has been refused.
I live 1 1/2 hours away from my kids. My ex has organised sports for the the eldest (10) on Sundays that start in the morning so if I say she cant do that she tells him its my fault they cant do it. If I agree to take him to the sports then I end up most times taking the young one (6) back to his mum a lot earlier because he is bored or cold.
My ex is very aggressive and abusive to me when I am picking the kids. I try really, really hard not to retaliate but it is getting harder all the time
Can I go back to court without spending money I haven't got. I'm unemployed (but will get a job if it kills me) and have no money to get a solicitor. I couldn't use one for the family side of the divorce because I ran out of money so will do it myself if I know I can.
Please - any advice/help is welcome
Hi there ordie,
The answer to your question is yes, you can go back to court, and because you are unemployed you are entitled to an exemption from the court fees. Legal Aid is no longer available for family law cases but it is still available for Mediation so it won't cost you anything, except travelling expenses.
Mediation is the accepted first step where there is dispute over children/contact etc and the court will expect this to have been attempted. It is advisable to choose a mediator near to where the mother lives, otherwise she can refuse on the grounds of childcare travel. Here's a link to the mediation service
www.nfm.org.uk
If after you attend the mother refuses then the mediator will issue you with a form FM1 which you will need to apply to the court for contact. If she does attend but you cannot reach agreement you will still be issued with the FM1.
Check out the stickys at the top of this section, there are some about self repping and one about the form C100 which is the form you would use to apply for a variance of contact. There are plenty of Dads here that have gone down the self repping route so you will get plenty of advice and support.
You might like to think about attending a Families Need Fathers branch meeting in your area, you will meet like minds parents and get plenty of help through the court process. Here's a link to their webpage where you can find a branch meeting near to where you live
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings
Good luck
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
